Red Herring by Foxymoron

The literal meaning of red herring dates to at least 1250 AD when Walter of Bibbesworth wrote in The Treatise, “He etep no ffyssh But Heryng red.” Its figurative meaning was discussed on Countdown recently. A theory that "strong-smelling" red herrings were used to distract the hounds from the hare is unlikely to be true.

A 1682 pamphlet printed by Richard Baldwin, defending the Earl of Shaftesbury is an early reference: "But your Lordships business is, to keep your Hounds in full cry, against the pretended Association, for since you cannot find one really in being; a red-herring from your own Kitchen, must be hunted and trail'd through the Kingdom, to make a noise." Unconvincing.

There are quite a few pubs called The Red Herring in Britain. One in Gresham St, London, claims: "Samuel Pepys enjoyed red herrings for his breakfast on the 28th February 1659 while waiting for his boot heel to be mended, so think of Sam when you drink in The Red Herring." As you might expect, this is completely apocryphal.

The jack of diamonds turned out to be a red herring on the following hand this week:

My partner had a nasty guess. He opened 1S, third in hand after two passes, and the auction proceeded 2H-3D-3S-4S-Double-All Pass. 3D, by a passed hand, was a fit-non-jump and showed 4-card spade support. West led a top club and switched to the jack of hearts. Declarer won with the ace, drew trumps in two rounds, and had to tackle the diamonds. Without the jack of diamonds, he would have been forced to play a diamond to the king, relying on the diamonds to be 2-2 with the ace onside.  However this red herring introduced an alternative line of running the jack of diamonds. East won with the queen and the defence still had the top club and the ace of diamonds to come. One off was a top for East-West.

Declarer's line was suspect for two reasons. West surely has the ace of diamonds for his double. If West did have AQx of diamonds, the layout Declarer was playing for, then the opponents would be making 4H. Therefore, 4Sx-1 would get some matchpoints. On the actual hand, the mirror distribution means that 4H does not make for East-West. Finally, the silver bullet is that with AQx of diamonds, West could have given his partner a diamond ruff, and he did not do so. The expression "silver bullet" is also very old:

Walter Scott’s Tales of My Landlord, 1816: "Many a whig that day loaded his musket with a dollar cut into slugs, in order that a silver bullet (such was their belief) might bring down the persecutor of the holy kirk, on whom lead had no power."

Dog's Dinner by Foxymoron

We had a poor auction on one board this week, and I think the blame was entirely mine. The auction was a bit of a dog's dinner. A little research shows that this phrase arose a few years after the similar expression "pig's ear". It first appears in T.F. Benson’s 1902 novel Scarlet and Hyssop, in which a character compares a jumble of leftovers to a “dog’s dinner.” D. W. Barrett’s Life & Work among Navvies, 1880, uses the other expression: “Now, Jack, I’m goin’ to get a tiddley wink of pig’s ear.” But that is just the Cockney rhyming slang for beer and does not indicate something messed up. It is not clear how it came to get its modern meaning.

Our auction was unconvincing: My partner's 1NT as dealer was 15-17 and was pushy - the KR evaluation is only 13.5, despite the three tens. We continued, uncontested, 2D-2H-3C-3NT. I should now bid 4C, shaping out. East's fitting rounded suit cards will help us reach slam, with East bidding 4D and West bidding 6C. Instead I bid 4NT, invitational, and East was quick to put down a green card. With the clubs behaving, 12 tricks rolled in. 6NT is slightly against the odds needing the clubs to come in and a 12th trick in one of the majors. I feared reaching the dreaded 5C (fatal at matchpoints), but that was my excuse for a poor auction. The advantage of playing in clubs may well be that you can ruff out the hearts. Even when partner has Kxx in clubs you may just be able to ruff two hearts in East. On this hand everything works. I was surprised to get above average for 4NT+2.

So a dog's dinner, which reminds me of my neighbour's dog being unwell. When I asked him how he was feeling that day, he replied "Rough".

Solution to Study in Scarlet

This is the full layout. West has 13 penalty cards which must be played as directed by declarer. Clearly 6NT by East-West can only make on a spade lead and the layout is unique.  West is forced to lead the king of spades and declarer wins and cashes four more spades, forcing West to discard clubs, and discarding the blocking jack of clubs reaching this 8-card ending:

Now North leads the two of spades and East is squeezed for the first time. If he discards a scarlet suit, South discards from the other suit and directs West to discard from the same suit as East. Now the top clubs force West to discard from the same suit, and South makes the last four tricks.

If East discards a club, North cashes five rounds of clubs and East is squeezed for a second time. Declarer makes two tricks in the scarlet suit which East unguards, with West being forced to unguard that suit.

A Study in Scarlet by Foxymoron

"What do you make of this traveller?", asked Holmes, arriving at the Baker St Bridge Club, 221b Baker Street.

"Very odd," replied Watson. "It must have been mis-boarded, I presume. EW made slam (6NT, 6H or 6D) at all tables except one in which NS made 7NT and one where 6NT went one off by EW."

"On the contrary, the result was correct." "But did you not notice that EW were Lord Dunsany and his wife Lady Beatrice Child Villiers?"

"Good gracious, how did you deduce that?", responded Watson.

"Elementary," responded Holmes, "Lady Villiers has a bad habit of showing her hand to her partner before the opening lead. Also the writing of 7NT= is of one who is an expert in Calligraphy, and a writer of some 90 books would have that skill. And he always scores, whichever seat he is in. They clearly reached 6NT by East and West showed her hand to her partner before the final pass."

Holmes continued: "Now South, a chap called Charlie, bid 7NT and was entitled to treat every West card as a major penalty card. It is a simple matter now, Watson, for you to construct the whole deal. 7NT cannot be beaten even by best defence. And East does not have any penalty cards. You do need to know that 6NT can only be made on a spade lead and this makes the EW hands unique."

So, over to you. Solution after Xmas.

Carelessness by Foxymoron

Oscar (Wilde, not the Owl) might have said that to go off in one slam may be regarded as a misfortune, but to go off in two looks like carelessness. But this was not the case on Tuesday, despite the declarer's claim that his brain was not working. In one of the two slams he correctly played for a 2-2 break in trumps with nine trumps missing the queen. But on this occasion one of the opponents had Qxx. 

The other hand was particularly unlucky:

I am impressed by the new design on Bridgewebs, above, which is very attractive. North-South reached 6NT at one table by North, which is a bit pushy with a combined count of only 28 points. After a club lead won by North, however, declarer can make. He should cash a top heart, playing for his normal best chance of the queen dropping doubleton. East plays the queen, perforce. A Woman of No Importance, one might think, but not so. Now crossing to the ace of clubs and leading the nine of hearts is the right line. West should duck, of course, but if declarer thinks East is not capable of false-carding from ❤️QT doubleton he should run it. It only remains to guess the spades, and declarer will make one spade, five hearts, two diamonds and four clubs, using the ace of diamonds as an entry for the hearts.

Unluckily, at the table of the declarer in 6NT, East fished out the nine of diamonds for his opening lead. The effect of this was deadly, as whichever hand declarer wins in, the contract can no longer be made. If he wins in North, cashes the ace of hearts, crosses to the ace of clubs and leads the nine of hearts, West ducks and declarer can get to dummy with the ace of diamonds for the winning hearts, but then cannot make a spade trick without losing a trick to the jack of diamonds.  

Ten-card Suits by Foxymoron

It is very rare that one picks up a ten-card suit in bridge, 0.0017% according to Wikipedia, but this happened twice recently at the Woodberry. And on both occasions the optimal contract was rarely reached. This was the first of them:

A couple of players opened 2C and reached 7NT. Fortunately they were not playing against Secretary Birds who could have called the director and recited the clause in the Blue Book specifying the minimum standard for a strong 2C opening:

(b) Above 1D at least 16 HCP, or 13 HCP in two suits containing 10+ cards.

I think the right opening bid is 4NT, specific ace-asking, but this should be modified so that partner's response will never take you too high. Partner should always bid his lowest ace, but 5D must be a minor-suit ace, as you should never respond 6C. Another approach is to open 2C and then jump to 4D asking partner to cue an ace if she has one. Nothing is perfect, but on this hand anything sensible should get you to 7D, which your scribe and his partner did not manage. 

A week later, this hand occurred:

Now an opening 2C is permitted, but might not be best. East is sure to bid over it and indeed it is East-West's hand, and poor old North has to save in 6C if EW reach 5D. Quite a good method over 2C is that 3C shows either 6 clubs or short clubs, and this would work well on the East hand. "Walking the dog" is a good strategy for North on this hand.

Both hands had scores all over the shop. This expression seems to originate from The Era in 1862. “We have two men to go in and want eight runs to win, but I think we shall just do it, as ——’s fellows are bowling all over the shop;”

And the answers to the quiz last time. Arshavin was the footballer who scored four times in a Premiership match in 2009 without being on the winning side. Arsenal blew a 4-0 half-time lead against Newcastle and drew 4-4 in 2011.  And the three London derbies to end 4-4 are Arsenal v Spurs and Spurs v Chelsea, both in 2008 and, the tough one, Charlton v West Ham 2001.

4-4 by Foxymoron

The heading was a round in a football quiz I attended in a pub. It concerns the remarkable 16 Premiership games that have ended 4-4. I decided it was too obscure and difficult for the Woodberry Weekend quiz and Shelley concurred. But it did pose some interesting questions. Who was the only person (below) to score 4 goals in a Premiership match and not be on the winning side? Which team led 4-0 at half-time and did not win? Three London derbies (in the Premiership) ended with the score of 4-4. Two are relatively easy, but the third ....? Answers next time ...

What has this got to do with bridge, you may ask? Well, the Stayman convention is used to locate a 4-4 fit after a 1NT opening. I (and some top players) think that it is used far too often and bidding 3NT is usually better.  And it is not always right to respond to Stayman with a 4-card major. My "Bols Tip" is that you should suppress a 4-card major if you have an honour in each of the other suits and are (4333). As in the following hand:

Stefanie Rohan passed the North hand and I opened a 12-14 NT in third seat. Some would pass again on Stefanie's hand but she decided to bid Stayman as that was her only way to invite game. 2NT would have been a transfer to diamonds. I bid 2D, denying a 4-card major on the South hand and raised 2NT to 3NT. I now think that I should pass 2NT, despite having 14 Miltons, as the Kaplan-Rubens evaluation of the hand is only 12.4. Making 2NT+1 would have been 70%. Still, nothing succeeds like success, and with all the heart honours onside 3NT was a cakewalk and this was a joint top. 4H would have been hopeless.

"Nothing succeeds like success" was first put into print by Sir Arthur Helps, in Realmah, 1868: Rien ne réussit comme le succès. And Graham Horscroft included "cakewalk" in his Woodberry Weekend quiz - it gets its name from a 19th Century dance in the USA.

As I write, Arsenal are 4 points clear, but will it be 4 runners-up spots in a row? Always the bridesmaid never the bride. The phrase originated from a Victorian music hall song titled "Why Am I Always A Bridesmaid?" written in 1917.

The whole event was a great success and well run by Shelley Shieff and Nigel Freake and all the results are on the website.