Quackery by Foxymoron

Quackery is defined as dishonest practice and is frowned upon in bridge. It is perfectly fine to duck with the ace when declarer plays to the king, queen, but not acceptable to feign that you have the ace. So, you have to decide to duck in tempo.

We had a distinctly below-par performance at last week's Woodberry Pairs. I suppose you know the only sport or game in which a below-par performance is good. The other conundrum arising from that is "Which are the only four-letter sports that begins with a T?" The official answers are TEJO, a sport with discs, and TREC, a French equestrian sport, but there is another. I digress. This was the hand which triggered off this blog.

We had an auction which at least complied with the World War II motto "Careless Talk Costs Lives". We bid 2NT-6NT which had the benefit of not tipping off North to the winning club lead and Andy Conway led the seven of hearts. I won and led a diamond at trick two, as that suit will have to be tackled some time, and played the king from dummy. And returning to hand with a top spade I led a second diamond. It is almost symmetrical and I played the queen after a little thought. My reasoning was that some of the time South would have won the first diamond if he had the ace. And Matthew Hendrickson was far too ethical to indulge in quackery by ducking slowly. In theory, the right technical line here is to run the nine of diamonds on the first round, as you pick up AJxx of diamonds with North, but the practical play of leading twice towards the king, queen, is the one I would choose. If North does have AJxx of diamonds, you can still fall back on the club finesse.

And if the queen of diamonds holds, you can show off your knowledge of squeezes by running all the major-suit winners. If North does have four diamonds and the king of clubs, you will emerge with an unexpected overtrick.

Christmas Conundrums

A couple of conundrums for Christmas. First a question I was asked was why snowmen always appear in Arsenal colours. Well, one obvious answer is that if they had Spurs colours, the white scarf would not contrast with the snow. On the other hand, the red of the Arsenal scarf is typical of Christmas. The holly berries and the robin are both red after all.

A colleague suggested that another reason is that Arsenal look good at Christmas but have melted away by the spring ... Whatever the reason, red and white does seem to be the snowman's traditional garb. And, while I remember, what is the word for a fear of chimneys?

Another conundrum was the following puzzle, which I gave to some on Christmas cards. You reach 6H after a poor auction. But the play's the thing. What is the only layout which allows you to make?

As some will have not seen it yet, I will wait until the 1st January to give the solution. It remains to wish all blog readers a Happy New Year.

And, as promised, the solution. The layout has to be exactly as follows:

West leads the jack of diamonds against 6H. You must cover with the king. East wins and returns a diamond (there is nothing better). South must win and draws trumps in three rounds, ending in dummy. Now he cashes the ace of clubs, then the queen and jack, and leads the remaining two hearts. West is squeezed in spades and diamonds. You need West to have exactly JT98 of diamonds so that the seven is a threat against him. You need East to have the stiff jack of spades for the squeeze to operate. If he has a singleton king you cannot make it.

Oh, and I nearly forgot, SANTACLAUSTROPHOBIA is the fear of chimneys.

Combinations by Foxymoron

One of the most valuable books in my bridge collection is one I reviewed for International Popular Bridge Monthly in 1999. It is long out of print and is on sale on Amazon at $300. It is the Dictionary of Suit Combinations and is inscribed: "To my friend Tony Sowter. Signed Jean Marc Roudinescu". When I reviewed it, Anne Catchpole correctly described my article, which listed the 30 or so mistakes I had found, as the most boring article she had ever read."

I quickly reached again for my copy when a very interesting suit combination occurred last week at the Woodberry, as I certainly did not know the right line.  Most Easts played in Three Spades as did Anne Catchpole, and her (presumed) failure to buy and read the above title did not matter as she played the right percentage line. The defence started with three rounds of diamonds and dummy ruffed. Now the two possible lines are to cross to the ace of hearts and lead a spade to the queen, or to play a spade to the ace and then a second spade. The Dictionary showed me that, for four trump tricks, the former line is 71.22% and the latter, which Anne chose, is 71.78%. On this occasion virtue had to be its own reward as she had to lose two trump tricks and scored an average, whereas the first line would have succeeded.

If you do play a spade towards the queen, when South plays the ten and North the king, you should finesse the nine on the second round, because with JT doubleton South might have played the other honour. And there is another issue that cashing the ace might lose three trump tricks, so the 100% safety play of low to the nine of spades can be considered. The Dictionary gives the best play for maximum tricks as low to the queen, as you can avoid three losers when South shows out, but you are in trouble if spades are 4-0 so I think the line chosen is right.

I was also surprised when I checked the origin of the phrase "Virtue is its own reward" which stems from Cicero. Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 B.C.), orator and lawyer, believed government corruption would lead to the downfall of the Roman Republic

Tenace by Foxymoron

 The term tenace is much older than Bridge and is at least as old as Whist. It refers to a sequence with one gap, such as AQ (a major tenace), KJ (a minor tenace) and less often QT. But not TA as the name might suggest. It actually comes from the Latin tenax or the old French tenais, and the word tenacious has the same root. 

It appears in A short treatise on the game of whist. By a gentleman, by Edmond Hoyle. (1743):

Even though in whist you cannot see partner's hand, the need to avoid leading into a tenace was apparent even in the 18th Century,

Guessing who has which card when you have a minor tenace is one of the most difficult tasks in bridge, and there were two such guesses on a hand last night:

North opened 2S at some tables, as the need to make life difficult for the opponents takes priority over suit quality these days. Some Easts overcalled in hearts and this allowed them to find a cheap save, but 4S was no sinecure.

At my table East led his singleton club and I won in North and guessed to play a spade to the king. This did not lose a trick, as East was getting a club ruff anyway, and West won and gave his partner a club ruff, fortunately with the queen. West had returned the ten of clubs, suit preference for hearts, and East duly switched to a heart, leaving me to guess the diamond "tenace".

I reasoned that East would never underlead the ace of diamonds, as North might have one diamond and two hearts, whereas he might underlead the queen of diamonds, so I decided to play a diamond to the king and this worked. Not much to go on but right on this occasion and a gain for NS.

Madeira International Bridge Open

Four Woodberry members attended the Madeira Congress from 7th to 14th November. It was a really enjoyable event. I thoroughly recommend it. A good standard of bridge played in a friendly atmosphere, in a 5 star hotel in a beautiful location. The weather was fine. Two excellent dinners were included. 

The open pairs was played over 3 days, Tuesday to Thursday. Bridge from 4pm to 8pm left plenty of time for sightseeing, swimming and other activities.

The open teams event was played from Friday to Sunday. It was a Swiss event consisting of twelve 8 board matches.

There were several additional events for those who wished to extend their visit.

Players from many countries joined in, including large contingents from the Netherlands, Iceland and the Scandanavian countries. About a dozen British players were there, and we all agreed how enjoyable it was.

My partner was Andy Clery. Anne Catchpole and Shelley Shieff were the other pair.

We formed a team together, which Shelley chose to name "The Beach Boys".

Woodberry did not distinguish themselves in either event, but we had Fun, Fun, Fun.

This board gave us some Good Vibrations:

God Only Knows how we managed to bid to 3NT by North on this hand.

But when dummy appeared, I thought I Know There's an Answer.

Unfortunately, I was not allowed to ask others how to play the hand. I would like to have consulted some California Girls - perhaps Lady Lynda would have said Don't Worry Baby; but Caroline, No.

I could have asked Wendy, what went wrong?

Or begged, Help Me Rhonda.

Tried Peggy Sue, tried Betty Lou, tried Mary Lou, but I knew they wouldn't do.

But Barbara Ann would have got me rocking and a-rolling.

Anyway, East led a spade, which I ducked to the queen.

West returned the club 10, which I won in dummy with the jack.

I played the diamond 8 to the ace. Cashed the king and then led a low diamond which East took with the queen. 

I won the heart return with the ace, cashed the remaining diamonds and finessed the spade jack to take 9 tricks.

Wouldn't It Be Nice if every board went like this?

On another matter, consider leading the 2 from a 5 card suit against 3NT. It may fool declarer into believing the suit is breaking. This manoeuvre is called the Little Deuce Coup (you don't know what I've got).

I thoroughly recommend the Madeira Congress. 

You will enjoy The Warmth of the Sun.

You might even see Bluebirds Over the Mountain.

But the waves are not big enough for a Surfing Safari.

I will certainly Do It Again.

Jack Robinson by Foxymoron

 

"Did you bid the grand?" asked my friend Ken in the pub. "Yes, when my partner, David Schiff, opened 2C, we bid it before you could say Jack Robinson", I replied. Our auction was 2C-(2S)-Pass-(Pass)-3H-(Pass)-4NT-(Pass)-5D-(Pass)-7H-(All Pass). I like the 2C opener, a hand of great power, and the only possible slip was not knowing whether we played 3041 or 4130 in response to RKCB. The play was quick as well with a diamond ruff on the go the only threat. Note that you can pick up Jxxx of diamonds in either hand, even in 7NT, but you have to say that you know that!

I mused on the way home who Jack Robinson was. Well, a mythical character who appeared first in print in Evelina, or the history of a young lady's entrance into the world in 1778:

"Howsomever, I'd lay ten pounds to a shilling, I could whisk him so dexterously over into the pool, that he should light plump upon his foretop and turn round like a tetotum."

"Done!" cried Lord Merton; "I take your odds."

"Will you?" returned he; "why, then, 'fore George, I'd do it as soon as say Jack Robinson."

Interestingly, 21st century Scrabble, which has a number of archaic words, does not permit "howsomever".

Restoration by Foxymoron

The Stuart Restoration of 1660 saw King Charles II returning from exile in Europe after the Interregnum. Similarly bridge events are being restored face-to-face after a break due to Covid; the Woodberry Weekend at Eastbourne was a great success with a somewhat sleepy seaside town ideal for a weekend away from the pace of London.

The Newhaven Lighthouse, c. 1930

A 1660 in bridge is sometimes called a "restoration", and your scribe and his partner conceded this score at the Weekend:

This was a wild board, handled better by Ruth Stanley and Stephanie Raven than by my partner and I. Ruth opened 1H as South and West overcalled 2D. North now bid 3C, forcing and East raised the ante to 5D with such great trump support. South went on 5H and this went round to Muggins, East, who thought that 6D would be cheap at the colours. It was indeed but had the effect of South adding one for the road with 6H. East-West had the choice between passing this for no match points or bidding Seven Diamonds which would have earned one match point. Stefanie Rohan decided to double but played by South there was no defence and +1660, a "Restoration", was the result.

The event was brilliantly organised by Shelley Shieff and expertly directed by Nigel Freake. The main event of the weekend, the Allworth Salver, was won for the first time by David Burn and Frances Loughridge. David now has a trophy with his wife to add to his record eleven Tollemache triumphs.

The team event was won by Harvey Fox, Doug Dunn, Maria and Derek Essen. An excellent quiz, conducted by Andy Conway, was won by Harvey Fox, David Burn, Frances Loughridge, Ruth Stanley and Stephanie Raven.