Duck or Grouse by Foxymoron

I once attended a meeting of the London Collectors' Society, which concentrates on coins, notes and comics. One of the attendees had a collection of Duck or Grouse pub signs, some of which I suspect had been stolen. Reports of pubgoers hitting their head on a low beam have increased dramatically since the miscreant built up his collection of over a hundred different specimens.

The following hand was a missed opportunity for a successful duck, and the failure to find it could well have been because declarer had hit his or her head on a low beam. 

South opened a weak 2S and this came round to East who bid 2NT. Minimum but acceptable in view of the intermediates. West raised to 3NT and South led a spade round to East's queen, so this should not have been a problem. East led the jack of diamonds, covered by the queen and king ... But now declarer could no longer make it. The diamonds were blocked and attempts to endplay North or South do not work. If South's queen of diamonds was a singleton, nothing could be done, but as the cards lie, ducking works. South can establish the spades, but declarer makes two spades, five diamonds, the ace of hearts and can lead towards the king of clubs for his ninth trick. This requires the partner of the weak two opener to have the ace of clubs, a reasonable chance.

Going off in 3NT was worth precisely 0 matchpoints, a duck or "duck's egg", a term more commonly used in cricket, and apparently just from the shape of the 0.

The meaning of grouse, to complain, goes back to at least 1885 and is thought to be Army slang, possibly derived from the Old French groucier. North-South were not grousing as this board helped them to win on the night.

 

Careless Talk by Foxymoron

There is a tendency among top players to play that a double of 1NT is not for penalties. The opponents will often run somewhere if one has a weak hand, as will our partner of course. Equally importantly you will be telling the opponents that you have, say, 15+ high-card points. Careless Talk posters from the Second World War are collectors' items and sell for many thousands of pounds on Ebay. An example:

My partner did well to "keep schtum" on the following hand and reaped the benefits:

West opened a weak no-trump and North sensibly kept quiet. If he had doubled, then South would have been most unhappy. He would have been happier if he had a side bet on whether he would have been dealt a perfect Yarborough at the true odds of 1800-1, but otherwise he would have had nowhere to go. If East could redouble as "business" then North-South would be facing -1560.

After North passed, East bid Stayman which was his only way to invite game. West bid 2S and East bid 2NT. West was quite happy to accept and 3NT became the final contract. North led the queen of clubs and declarer can count seven tricks, two clubs, two hearts, two spades and a diamond. Not unreasonably he took two diamond finesses for his contract but the defence was now able to establish five tricks - two clubs, two diamonds and the ace of spades. One down and a top.

Schtum is one of many Yiddish words which have come into English, with several alternative spellings. Another theory is that it is prison slang. The earliest citation of it in print in English is in Frank Norman’s book Bang to Rights: an account of prison life, 1958:

“I think it’s much better to keep shtoom.”

“You can always shtoomup if any screws are earholeing.”

Hoorah Henry by Foxymoron

The penalty of 1100 is sometimes known as a Henry after the seizure of the throne by Henry I in 1100. The above depicts Henry holding the Church of Reading Abbey in a miniature by Matthew Paris, c.1253. I was reminded of Henry on a hand this week from the Woodberry:

I know for sure that at least one West overcalled one of Two Diamonds, Three Diamonds or Four Diamonds. I think the middle one is "just right", as Goldilocks would say. Four Diamonds is too much and can be taken for 1100. At the table where this occurred, North-South were playing penalty doubles at the Four level and North had no difficulty applying the axe. He was too polite to call Hoorah when the hand was over, but West was really the Hoorah Henry (or Henrietta). Perhaps Damon Runyon was thinking of such bids when he wrote, in 1936, "He is without doubt strictly a Hoorah Henry, and he is generally figured as nothing but a lob as far as ever doing anything useful in this world is concerned." But bridge had not yet been invented and it is unclear why the name Henry was chosen. I guess it could have been Hoorah Harvey or Hoorah Harry.

At our table, we missed the chance to collect this penalty, as North did not pass over 4D and chose to double. South bid 4H which ended the auction. The top spot is 3NT which will normally make the same number of tricks, and North chose that when West bid only 3D.

To get a good score in either you need to make 12 tricks. There are various squeezes which can work, and much depends on whether both opponents guard spades or clubs. If West has only bid 3D, then you will probably play him to be 2-1-7-3 or 3-1-7-2 and will have to read the ending. Assume West leads a diamond, you run it round and now draw trumps and then duck a round of spades. They play a second round and you win with the ace and now cash the ace of diamonds throwing a club, come to hand with the king of clubs and run the remaining hearts. On the layout, East gets squeezed in the black suits. If West is also guarding clubs, he will be squeezed out of that guard by the threat of the jack of diamonds in dummy. Playing for clubs 3-3 is an alternative line, but that is putting all your eggs in one basket.

And I nearly forgot. F. Scott Fitzgerald was named after Francis Scott Keys, the composer of the Star Spangled Banner, so that tells you what the F stands for.

Rose-Coloured Glasses by Foxymoron

The above expression first appeared in Thomas Hughes' novel Tom Brown at Oxford in 1859, and was also used more recently in F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby and in John Lennon's song Imagine. As my father-in-law points out, the phrase also featured in Jacques Offenbach’s Opera The Tales of Hoffmann. It indicates an unduly optimistic outlook, and Nigel Freake and your author exhibited that trait when overreaching to Four Spades on the hand below.

After 1NT by South, 12-14, and a transfer of 2H by North, East came in quite soundly with Three Clubs. South tried to show where his values lay with 3H, promising four spades, but a maximum, which seems too pushy. North was also wearing his rose-coloured glasses and bid Four Spades. East began with two top clubs and West discarded a low diamond, clearly showing at least the king, when playing reverse attitude. However, East did not know whether a third club was needed, and continued with the queen of clubs, If West had JTx of spades, for example, it would promote a trump trick. Declarer ruffed with the queen and West overruffed, but that was the end of the defence as declarer now had five spades, four hearts and the ace of diamonds. 

A more testing defence would be to discard on the third club, but declarer can still make. If West discards a heart, declarer can play on trumps finessing the eight on the second round if necessary and can then overtake the second heart. On a diamond discard, declarer plays a spade to the eight and then knocks out the ace of spades. He can later play all the trumps and squeeze West in the red suits. But a more challenging defence.

Clearly a diamond switch at trick three would have beaten the contract fairly easily but did you see how West could have protected his partner? If West had ruffed the SECOND club and led the king of diamonds, declarer would have had no recourse as there would clearly be four losers.

And a final poser. What does the F stand for in F. Scott Fitzgerald?  And what was his full name and who was he named after?

The Big Slick by Foxymoron

The Big Slick is an expression that I am only aware of in Poker, for ace, king (ideally in the same suit) as two hole cards. It is a very powerful hand and was named after the Santa Barbara disastrous oil slick of 1969, but its origin may go back to Roman times. It was very kind this week to Michael Mizrachi who won the first prize of $10,000,000 in the WSPOP final table persuading a fold with JJ and getting lucky against KK, by hitting an ace on the river, when he was a 30-70 dog.

He is a distant relative of the outspoken Haredi Rabbi Yosef Mizrachi and he is a fine backgammon player, who I met in Las Vegas. in Atlanta, Youtube showed four hours of the final table, free, and it was most enjoyable. 

https://twitter.com/i/status/1945268686539121105 gives the crucial hand.

A hand at the Woodberry this week reminded me of the importance of the big slick in the trump suit and why Keycard Blackwood was invented to diagnose that you had the king of trumps as well as the four aces.

Two pairs reached the grand slam here, and they knew what they were doing although they followed different routes.

Tony Mutukisna, playing with Nigel Freake, decided to open 1H in case he lost the hearts if he opened 1C. This worked well and the auction, uncontested, was 1H-1S-2C-2D*-3C-4NT(RKCB)-5D-7C. 2D was fourth-suit, game forcing. East knows that West has at least 5-5 in the round suits and went "all in" on being able to find the queen of clubs if necessary. 

Matthew Hendrickson and Ed Sanders bid 1C-1D-1H-2S(FSF)-3H-4NT-5S (2 with, for hearts)-7C. This time East knows that West is 5-6 as he opened 1C, so 7C will only require clubs to break 2-1, a 78% chance. A slightly better auction but no style marks and a joint top.

It is churlish to question whether the top spot of 7NT might have been reached. A possible auction, if uncontested, is 1C-1D-1H-1S(4SF)-2H-(5-6)-4C(minorwood)

-4H(1)-6S.  This says we can make 7C, but what do you think about 7NT? West with a source of tricks in hearts can bid 7NT. But all pie-in-the-sky.

This phrase appeared first in 1911 in Hill’s The Preacher and the Slave, which
parodied the Salvation Army hymn In the Sweet Bye and Bye:

From the day of your birth it’s bread and water here on earth
To a child of life to a child of life 

But there’ll be pie in the sky by and by when I die and it’ll be alright it’ll be alright 

There’ll be pie in the sky by and by when I die and it’ll be alright it’ll be alright

Short and Sweet by Foxymoron

The first known use of the expression 'short and sweet' was in Richard Taverner's Proverbs and Adages in 1539 and it appeared in Shakespeare's As You Like It.  When we play in the fourth Tuesday competition at the Woodberry, we should try to avoid long auctions, as the partnerships are irregular. "Better short and sweet than long and lax", wrote James Kelly in Scottish Proverbs.

Maybe I took this advice a bit too far this week when I selected the final contract at my first turn to call, but I landed on my feet:

My partner, the retired maths teacher Roly Harris, opened 1D and West overcalled 3H. I teased the gathering in the pub that I had now bid 5H, exclusion Blackwood, on the North hand, and they believed me. I would not risk that on a fourth Tuesday, however, and I made a practical choice of Six Spades. Partner rates to have at least one spade, and you will probably lose a spade. If there is a diamond loser then 7D won't make either. My partner passed, as you might expect, and I was pleased to see that nobody bid the Grand Slam in diamonds.

5H was probably the right bid. It asks partner to show how many key cards he has outside hearts. And one can play 3041 or 4130 over this by agreement. Of course, if you have agreed which with an irregular partner on a fourth Tuesday you will be told to "get a life".  And if East bids 6H or doubles, then you need to have an agreement. DOPI and ROPI are standard, so that double shows no key cards, pass shows 1, and South would bid 6NT over 6H on his actual hand, showing two plus the queen of trumps, giving North an easy 7D. 

I was quite happy with my 19/20 for selecting the final contract of 6S, and the opponents were gnashing and wailing when the trumps were 3-3.

Oh, and my cat Ebony informs me that "landed on one's feet" refers to the ability of cats to do so when jumping from a height.

Thick and Thin by Foxymoron

The phrase (through) "thick and thin" comes from Old English, and was originally "through thicket and thin wood", meaning to cope with difficulties and to enjoy easier periods. The earliest known reference is from Chaucer's The Reeve's Tale

And whan the hors was laus, he gynneth gon

Toward the fen, ther wilde mares renne,

And forth with “wehee,” thurgh thikke and thurgh thenne.

In some usage, thick and thin are antonyms. But not in bridge. Thick in bridge is not a compliment, and indicates that you have done something stupid. As in Henry IV, Part 2:

Hang him baboon, his wit’s as thicke as Tewksbury mustard.

I was certainly thick, and felt like a baboon, in last week's duplicate when I only made seven tricks on the following hand in 1NT as North:

East led a normal spade, and West played the king, and I played the jack, the card I was planning to play on the next round ... Not really a mispull, just thick. Now the defence cashed five rounds of spades, and could have beaten me two tricks if they had switched to a club, but +90 was hardly any match points anyway.

Thin in bridge is not the opposite of thick, but refers to a contract, usually slam or game, that has a very low chance of success. Such was the case with the following hand.

We bid 1H-(2C)-3C*-(4C)-6H-All Pass. Three Clubs was a good raise. My partner was a bit unlucky that my ace of clubs was of no value and that there was a trump loser. But was there? West led the ace of diamonds, and another diamond. South won and now effectively gave up by cashing the ace of hearts. However, as the chess grandmaster Savielly Tartakower said, "No game is won by resigning".  A singleton king of trumps is about as much use as a chocolate teapot, an expression which appears to be mid-20th century.

Declarer should have crossed to dummy with a spade, and run the queen of hearts. East can cover, but you cross again in spades and run the eight of hearts to bring home your thin slam. This was the only chance and mirabile dictu it would have worked.

How thin is the slam? Quite easy to calculate as the chance of East having three hearts and West one is about 25%, and you need a singleton jack with West, which occurs one quarter of that time. So, about 6.25%. How thick was my partner? I will leave you to judge!