Bad Beat by Foxymoron

A bad beat in poker is when you are very unlikely to lose but the opponent gets lucky. I remember playing in a €25 Texas Hold'em tournament in Slovenia. My hole cards were ♠A ♦Q and the flop came A♣ Q♥ A♥. I had gone all-in, and my opponent was almost "drawing dead" with a pair of deuces but he caught the other two deuces on the turn and the river to make quads and eliminate me. The origin of the phrase is apparently 17th century from any game of chance.

If I had gone off in 3NT on this hand from last night I would have regarded it as a bad beat. Some declarers even made an overtrick:

The normal lead here is the king of hearts, but this costs a fatal tempo. The only defence is for East to lead the two of clubs to the ace and another club back to North's king. Declarer can finesse the spades and now has three spades, four diamonds and one club, but nowhere to go for the ninth trick. If he plays four rounds of diamonds, East can spare a spade. If they find that defence against you, it is a bit of a bad beat.

The play after the king of hearts lead is quite pretty. Now East has to find the club switch to save the overtrick. Say that he exits with a diamond. Declarer cashes three rounds of these ending in North and now finesses the ten of spades and cashes the 13th diamond. North and East pitch spades, and declarer plays a club from dummy. West does best to go in with the ace and play another one, but North wins with the king and now leads the queen of hearts. West has to duck that or he will have to lead into the T8 of hearts. But on this trick East is squeezed and has to pitch a club, or declarer makes the small spade. Now North crosses to the ace of spades and sets up his tenth trick in clubs. A pretty squeeze. Stefanie Rohan found that line for a joint top.

Jack of Hearts by Foxymoron

The jack of hearts has achieved immortal fame. He was a notorious kleptomaniac in a children's nursey rhyme with a penchant for sweet treats and suffered a beating from the king as a result. More recently he featured in Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts by Bob Dylan, a song also popularised by Joan Baez.

The following version is of good quality, but with the usual five-second ad:

Bob Dylan - Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts (Official Audio) - YouTube

The last four lines are classic:

Lily had already taken all of the dye out of her hair.

She was thinkin' 'bout her father, who she very rarely saw

Thinkin' 'bout Rosemary and thinkin' about the law.

But, most of all she was thinkin' 'bout the Jack of Hearts.

Shelley Shieff and Raoul Fishman were thinkin' 'bout the jack of hearts on the following hand, and both got it right to have a joint top.

Raoul had a diamond lead and won with the ace, ruffed a diamond and drew trumps. Then he played a heart to the king after which he could not go wrong. This was not the best line however, and Shelley did better, ruffing the diamond lead, drawing trumps, cashing the ace of diamonds, pitching a club and then the ace and king of clubs and now playing a heart to the queen. East won and exited with a heart, but she reasoned, correctly, that with the AJx of hearts and KQxxxxx of diamonds East might well open 1D, so she dropped the jack of hearts. I was East and should have given her a harder time by ducking the queen of hearts, and ducking the ten of hearts if it is led from dummy. Now Shelly would have had a losing line of playing me for Jxx of hearts. As Lasker said, once you find a good move, look for a better one.

Claremont by Foxymoron

Our club held its duplicate this week in support of the Claremont Project, a local charity that provides day facilities for the older residents of Islington. It arose from the Claremont Methodist Free Church on the same site as the current building, which has not changed hugely since 1907.

In 1902, after the London Congregational Union acquired Claremont Chapel on Pentonville Road, plans were hatched for the formation of a settlement on the lines of Toynbee Hall, to have 'a rather important Entrance Hall or Vestibule as a means of approach from White Lion Street'. This scheme soon grew to encompass a complete new building in place of Nos 24–27 White Lion Street for the LCU's Central Mission. It was realized in 1906, as the Claremont Institute. The architect was Alfred Conder, who also designed the two-bay extension on the west side, built in 1910, once the site of No. 27 had become available.

The oldest picture I can find of the building shows most of the original facade:

The prestigious surname Claremont comes from the majestic region of Dauphiné, in France. There is a Claremont House in Esher with National Trust gardens. A Claremont Methodist Free Church can be found in places as far apart as Wallasey and Newquay. There are towns, schools and churches worldwide with the Claremont name, some of which will have the same origin.

But back to the bridge. 

No pair bid the excellent Six Clubs on this hand. I wholeheartedly support the Robot's choice of a strong jump shift over 1D, of 3C, showing a good suit. Now, it is a good idea to play that 4C is Minorwood, an asking bid in clubs, a little like Roman Key Card Blackwood. The normal responses are 4D= 0/3, 4H = 1/4, 4S = 2 without the queen and 4NT = 2 with the queen. North would bid 4NT on this hand, as having seven clubs it should show the queen. Of course this would be pearls before swine playing with a robot, and it just bid game.

"Cast pearls before swine" (from the series of "Flemish Proverbs").

Drawing by Pieter Brueghel the Younger (1564–1638).

In like manner the mysteries of the truth, that is, the pearls, are not to be given but to such as desire the truth and live with human reason. If then you cast them to the swine, that is, to such as are grovelling in impurity of life, they do not understand their preciousness, but value them like to other worldly fables, and tread them under foot with their carnal life. - Matthew 7:6

If you don't use Minorwood, then you might just jump to 6C as South immediately. What you don't want to do is play 5C at matchpoints, as over half the field did.

The duplicate raised over £400 for the Claremont, for much-needed medical equipment for the centre, including a vital defibrillator. 

The centre offers a range of classes and events. Membership is free (although donations are welcome) and there is a range of special events and online classes. It is hoped to resume face-to-face classes at some point. More information at www.claremont-project.org

Guard of Honour by Foxymoron

The Compound Guard Squeeze is one of the most complex plays in bridge, with an exact reading of the layout being necessary. The ingredients are usually that only one opponent is guarding one suit, both opponents guard a second suit, and one opponent has Hx in the third suit. it is quite rare, but occurred on a hand last night at the Woodberry

The winning line on a trump lead is to draw trumps and then play a club. North can win and play a second club, but declarer ruffs and runs the trumps. North has to come down to a singleton club but declarer just cashes the last spade. If North throws a club, South will be squeezed in hearts and clubs, so he pitches a heart. But now declarer cashes a heart and can finesse the ten of hearts for its twelfth trick.

A more testing defence found by Ryan was the heart lead. Now declarer has to play differently and play the ace and king of hearts and ruff a heart high. Now declarer leads a spade and has to finesse the six to get an extra entry for the dummy reversal. This would be wrong however if North had the seven, and declarer has to guess. After that works, it ruffs the last heart and plays a club. North can win and play a second club, but East ruffs and finesses the eight of spades, Now he can ruff the losing club high, cross in diamonds and draw the last trump. A perfect dummy reversal.

At the table, the Robot played a normal line on the ace of clubs lead, followed by a second club, of ruffing, drawing two rounds of trumps and then it tried to ruff the fourth diamond, but South ruffed the third diamond so it was one off. I tend to think the robot's line was right, but unlucky. They are getting better.

Ducks in a Row by Foxymoron

The expression getting one's ducks in a row is quite interesting, and many sites are unclear as to its origin. It means to complete one's preparations or get one's house in order. In bridge this should be done at trick one, before you play a card, and declarer might have done so on this hand:

South's double of Stayman showed clubs, and the double of 2S was takeout. Now 2NT showed a spade stop and East raised to game. North had no reason to find the killing lead of the KS, and led a heart. Now it is very unlikely the hearts are 5-2, so declarer should not duck at all, but he did duck the first heart and South won with the queen. Now, South might have recalled the bidding and switched to a spade, but he continued hearts, and North played the jack, but Richard ducked again. Now North woke up and switched to the king of spades, and Richard ducked for a third time. At this point there were no good options, and when North continued spades he ducked for a fourth time but was now one off as he still had to lose the ace of clubs. Had he got his ducks in a row at trick one, he would have realised that no ducks was the right procedure; he should win the first heart and drive out the ace of clubs! Richard and Debbie had a fine win with 63% but it could have been even better but for this hand.

The earliest example we’ve seen of the phrase is from a 19th-century African-American newspaper in Detroit: “In the meantime the Democrats are getting their ducks in a row, and their ticket is promised to be very strong” (the Plaindealer, Nov. 15, 1889).

We’ll end, however, with an example from an earlier children’s book, Goodrich’s Fifth School Reader (1857), by Samuel Griswold Goodrich. Here a mom is teaching her ducklings how to walk in a straight line to a pond:

“Yes,” said the ducklings, waddling on. “That’s better,” said their mother;

“But well-bred ducks walk in a row, straight, one behind the other.”

“Yes,” said the little ducks again, all waddling in a row.

“Now to the pond,” said old Dame Duck—splash, splash, and in they go.

Cash by Foxymoron

Cash is an interesting word, with many different meanings. The financial one is also unusual, with "Cash in" and "Cash out" having very similar meanings. I remember Obama saying that he had to bring the US back to prosperity. "Until recently we had Cash, Jobs and Hope", he said eloquently in his re-election address.

Cashing out in bridge is often difficult. I think the SIMs compiler for Tuesday's game had been reading recent Woodberry Blogs, in which eight-card suits and voids were prevalent. This week's SIMs event, in memory of the late Pater Jordan, was won online by Matthew and Rachel Bingham with a splendid national score of 69%.

South opened 3D at Game All on the above wild hand and North took his chances in 4S, but East was not shut out and bid 4NT, showing the other two suits. Usually West contented himself with 5C, which was indeed the limit of the hand. Some North players elected to defend that and they had to cash the king of diamonds to beat it. Leading the king of spades would be fatal as the diamond loser would go away. At our table North bid 5S, and against that East-West had to cash their rounded-suit winners to beat it. Scores were all over the shop on this wild board, with 5Cx= and 5Sx= being the tops in each direction.

"All over the shop" was first recorded as British 'pugilistic slang' in Hotten's Slang Dictionary of 1874 : to inflict severe punishment on an opponent was 'to knock him all over the shop'. We leave the last word to the wild man:

"People call me wild. Not really though, I'm not. I guess I've never been normal, not what you call Establishment. I'm Country." Johnny Cash

Six of One by Foxymoron

The title of this article is also a big Internet forum, the appreciation society for The Prisoner. Patrick McGoohan plays Number Six, as all fans of the Prisoner know. Number One in the Prisoner is never revealed, and "Six of One" is a play on Six of One and Half a Dozen of Another, a phrase which first appeared in print in the 18th Century. The earliest known use of the expression occurred in a journal kept by a British naval officer, Ralph Clark, in 1790.

Ken Barnett had six of one and half a dozen of the other on the hand below, and it did not matter which slam he bid, or indeed whether he bid the grand or not, as bidding either slam would have been a top. It is what Andy Robson referred to in a learned article as a "30-point pack", with the opponents' 10 points in spades of no value in defence at all. If one is playing Rubensohl over 2S, one can transfer to hearts, but even playing Lebensohl, one can bid 3H forcing. 4H is not necessary and an underbid. However, After East shows big spade support with 4S, North should now offer a choice of slams with 6C. South can correct to the higher scoring slam, or play the slightly safer 6C. It matters not, as the idiom says.

There is something to be said for South raising to 6C anyway, and 5H+2 was an average. One East-West went on to 5S and that was 800. Robot and Robot had a fine win with a solid 60% today. Which leads me to a quiz question.

Who played Number 5 in The Computer Wears Menace Shoes?

Solutions to Christmas Conundrums

The first of these was relatively easy.

This has to be the layout. On the spade lead, you win in North, cross to the ace of diamonds, finesse the eight of diamonds, cross to the king of spades and finesse the ten of diamonds. East can part with one club and one heart on the diamonds, but when you cash the last diamond he is triple-squeezed. He has to part with a spade, but then the nine of spades squeezes him again. The opening lead of the singleton king of clubs destroys the timing for the progressive squeeze and beats the contract.

The second one was 6NT. This was the layout:

The East-West hands have to be exactly as shown for South to make 6NT. And the only lead to defeat it was a heart, which tangles declarer's entries irreparably. On the diamond lead, South wins and ducks a spade. West now switches to a heart, but you win in South, finesse the nine of clubs, and now cash the remaining clubs throwing diamonds from South. East gets progressively squeezed. 

Both simple when you see it!