Rose-Coloured Glasses by Foxymoron

The above expression first appeared in Thomas Hughes' novel Tom Brown at Oxford in 1859, and was also used more recently in F. Scott Fitzgerald's The Great Gatsby and in John Lennon's song Imagine. As my father-in-law points out, the phrase also featured in Jacques Offenbach’s Opera The Tales of Hoffmann. It indicates an unduly optimistic outlook, and Nigel Freake and your author exhibited that trait when overreaching to Four Spades on the hand below.

After 1NT by South, 12-14, and a transfer of 2H by North, East came in quite soundly with Three Clubs. South tried to show where his values lay with 3H, promising four spades, but a maximum, which seems too pushy. North was also wearing his rose-coloured glasses and bid Four Spades. East began with two top clubs and West discarded a low diamond, clearly showing at least the king, when playing reverse attitude. However, East did not know whether a third club was needed, and continued with the queen of clubs, If West had JTx of spades, for example, it would promote a trump trick. Declarer ruffed with the queen and West overruffed, but that was the end of the defence as declarer now had five spades, four hearts and the ace of diamonds. 

A more testing defence would be to discard on the third club, but declarer can still make. If West discards a heart, declarer can play on trumps finessing the eight on the second round if necessary and can then overtake the second heart. On a diamond discard, declarer plays a spade to the eight and then knocks out the ace of spades. He can later play all the trumps and squeeze West in the red suits. But a more challenging defence.

Clearly a diamond switch at trick three would have beaten the contract fairly easily but did you see how West could have protected his partner? If West had ruffed the SECOND club and led the king of diamonds, declarer would have had no recourse as there would clearly be four losers.

And a final poser. What does the F stand for in F. Scott Fitzgerald?  And what was his full name and who was he named after?

The Big Slick by Foxymoron

The Big Slick is an expression that I am only aware of in Poker, for ace, king (ideally in the same suit) as two hole cards. It is a very powerful hand and was named after the Santa Barbara disastrous oil slick of 1969, but its origin may go back to Roman times. It was very kind this week to Michael Mizrachi who won the first prize of $10,000,000 in the WSPOP final table persuading a fold with JJ and getting lucky against KK, by hitting an ace on the river, when he was a 30-70 dog.

He is a distant relative of the outspoken Haredi Rabbi Yosef Mizrachi and he is a fine backgammon player, who I met in Las Vegas. in Atlanta, Youtube showed four hours of the final table, free, and it was most enjoyable. 

https://twitter.com/i/status/1945268686539121105 gives the crucial hand.

A hand at the Woodberry this week reminded me of the importance of the big slick in the trump suit and why Keycard Blackwood was invented to diagnose that you had the king of trumps as well as the four aces.

Two pairs reached the grand slam here, and they knew what they were doing although they followed different routes.

Tony Mutukisna, playing with Nigel Freake, decided to open 1H in case he lost the hearts if he opened 1C. This worked well and the auction, uncontested, was 1H-1S-2C-2D*-3C-4NT(RKCB)-5D-7C. 2D was fourth-suit, game forcing. East knows that West has at least 5-5 in the round suits and went "all in" on being able to find the queen of clubs if necessary. 

Matthew Hendrickson and Ed Sanders bid 1C-1D-1H-2S(FSF)-3H-4NT-5S (2 with, for hearts)-7C. This time East knows that West is 5-6 as he opened 1C, so 7C will only require clubs to break 2-1, a 78% chance. A slightly better auction but no style marks and a joint top.

It is churlish to question whether the top spot of 7NT might have been reached. A possible auction, if uncontested, is 1C-1D-1H-1S(4SF)-2H-(5-6)-4C(minorwood)

-4H(1)-6S.  This says we can make 7C, but what do you think about 7NT? West with a source of tricks in hearts can bid 7NT. But all pie-in-the-sky.

This phrase appeared first in 1911 in Hill’s The Preacher and the Slave, which
parodied the Salvation Army hymn In the Sweet Bye and Bye:

From the day of your birth it’s bread and water here on earth
To a child of life to a child of life 

But there’ll be pie in the sky by and by when I die and it’ll be alright it’ll be alright 

There’ll be pie in the sky by and by when I die and it’ll be alright it’ll be alright

Short and Sweet by Foxymoron

The first known use of the expression 'short and sweet' was in Richard Taverner's Proverbs and Adages in 1539 and it appeared in Shakespeare's As You Like It.  When we play in the fourth Tuesday competition at the Woodberry, we should try to avoid long auctions, as the partnerships are irregular. "Better short and sweet than long and lax", wrote James Kelly in Scottish Proverbs.

Maybe I took this advice a bit too far this week when I selected the final contract at my first turn to call, but I landed on my feet:

My partner, the retired maths teacher Roly Harris, opened 1D and West overcalled 3H. I teased the gathering in the pub that I had now bid 5H, exclusion Blackwood, on the North hand, and they believed me. I would not risk that on a fourth Tuesday, however, and I made a practical choice of Six Spades. Partner rates to have at least one spade, and you will probably lose a spade. If there is a diamond loser then 7D won't make either. My partner passed, as you might expect, and I was pleased to see that nobody bid the Grand Slam in diamonds.

5H was probably the right bid. It asks partner to show how many key cards he has outside hearts. And one can play 3041 or 4130 over this by agreement. Of course, if you have agreed which with an irregular partner on a fourth Tuesday you will be told to "get a life".  And if East bids 6H or doubles, then you need to have an agreement. DOPI and ROPI are standard, so that double shows no key cards, pass shows 1, and South would bid 6NT over 6H on his actual hand, showing two plus the queen of trumps, giving North an easy 7D. 

I was quite happy with my 19/20 for selecting the final contract of 6S, and the opponents were gnashing and wailing when the trumps were 3-3.

Oh, and my cat Ebony informs me that "landed on one's feet" refers to the ability of cats to do so when jumping from a height.

Thick and Thin by Foxymoron

The phrase (through) "thick and thin" comes from Old English, and was originally "through thicket and thin wood", meaning to cope with difficulties and to enjoy easier periods. The earliest known reference is from Chaucer's The Reeve's Tale

And whan the hors was laus, he gynneth gon

Toward the fen, ther wilde mares renne,

And forth with “wehee,” thurgh thikke and thurgh thenne.

In some usage, thick and thin are antonyms. But not in bridge. Thick in bridge is not a compliment, and indicates that you have done something stupid. As in Henry IV, Part 2:

Hang him baboon, his wit’s as thicke as Tewksbury mustard.

I was certainly thick, and felt like a baboon, in last week's duplicate when I only made seven tricks on the following hand in 1NT as North:

East led a normal spade, and West played the king, and I played the jack, the card I was planning to play on the next round ... Not really a mispull, just thick. Now the defence cashed five rounds of spades, and could have beaten me two tricks if they had switched to a club, but +90 was hardly any match points anyway.

Thin in bridge is not the opposite of thick, but refers to a contract, usually slam or game, that has a very low chance of success. Such was the case with the following hand.

We bid 1H-(2C)-3C*-(4C)-6H-All Pass. Three Clubs was a good raise. My partner was a bit unlucky that my ace of clubs was of no value and that there was a trump loser. But was there? West led the ace of diamonds, and another diamond. South won and now effectively gave up by cashing the ace of hearts. However, as the chess grandmaster Savielly Tartakower said, "No game is won by resigning".  A singleton king of trumps is about as much use as a chocolate teapot, an expression which appears to be mid-20th century.

Declarer should have crossed to dummy with a spade, and run the queen of hearts. East can cover, but you cross again in spades and run the eight of hearts to bring home your thin slam. This was the only chance and mirabile dictu it would have worked.

How thin is the slam? Quite easy to calculate as the chance of East having three hearts and West one is about 25%, and you need a singleton jack with West, which occurs one quarter of that time. So, about 6.25%. How thick was my partner? I will leave you to judge!

Quincunx by Foxymoron

Quincunx is not just a high-scoring word in Scrabble or similar word games. It is also another name for the Galton Board, which illustrates both the binomial distribution and the normal distribution and allows one to understand the distribution of cards in bridge as they "fall from the sky". The illustration below is from the science museum in Oregon:

Balls drop from the top of the machine and, at each peg that they hit, they randomly go right or left and settle at the bottom in a bell-shaped curve. This is similar (but not the same) as the dealer from above in bridge, who has to allocate each of the 26 missing cards to one of the two opponents. The difference is that there is a constraint that each person should get 13. I say "should" in that 12 or 14 sometimes occur at the Woodberry!

 "What are the chances of 7NT making on the hand below?" asked my partner this week. My first guess was much lower than it should have been:

We bid sensibly, uncontested, 1H-2NT (Jacoby)-3H (extras)-4NT (RKCB)-5S (2+Q)-5NT (please cue kings)-6C (king of clubs or both pointed kings)-7H. Only half the field bid the grand, so bidding 7NT would have been both wrong and greedy. There are slim chances of ♦JT9 or ♣QJ but essentially it needs the queen and jack of clubs to be with the diamond guard, or one opponent to be 4-5 in the minors or longer. Once you give one of the opponents 4 or more diamonds, the Galton pegs will tend to send the queen or jack of clubs to his partner more often than not, so the chances of success will be less than 25%, although the extra chance of any five clubs will make it close to that. 

Some software I have, called Bridge Analyser, quickly played 1000 hands with the NS cards and found that 7NT made 25.5% of the time, so the chances that the same player is 4-5 or longer in the minors compensates for the fact that the person with four or more diamonds is less likely to have both the queen and jack of clubs.

VIRKs by Foxymoron

Bridge conventions are only of use if you are both playing the same one.  It is good to have agreements in slam bidding and a surprisingly large percentage of the field in this week's EBED SIMs missed grand here:

The auction at the table of the Woodberry winners, Mike Bull and John Bernard, was 1D-1S-4C*-4NT-5H-5NT*-6D-7S-All Pass. 4C was a splinter and 4NT RKCB. Mike and John do not show voids in response to RKCB, so 5H was 2 without the queen. 6D showed the king of diamonds, but not the king of hearts. A good method is that 5NT asks for specific kings, and then you bid the one you have or the one you don't have when you have two! It was easy now to bid 7S.

How does one show a void in response to RKCB? Some play that 5NT is two key cards and a void. Others play that it is an odd number of key cards  and a void ... One can see wheels coming off now and the apple cart being upset, and indeed only a quarter of the field bid the grand. Both of these metaphors predate bridge and are from the earliest days of transportation.

A better method, when one side has splintered, is that a raise of the splinter is a VIRK, asking partner to include a void in that suit as a key card, but to respond normally with a singleton. Here, South just bids normally as 5C by North would have been the VIRK, and South knows North does not care if the splinter is a void or not.

The Tyger by Foxymoron

A hand last night at the Woodberry reminded me of a poem by Blake. The following illustration is in the British Museum:

Tyger Tyger, burning bright,
In the forests of the night;

What immortal hand or eye,

Could frame thy fearful symmetry?

It was the symmetry of the two plausible plays on the following hand that caught my eye:

Our auction was (Pass)-1D-(2C)-2D-(3C)-3D-All Pass. West led two top clubs and switched to a spade. Now there are two symmetrical lines as you can only afford one trump loser as you can never avoid a heart loser. The first is to win in dummy, and lead a low diamond to the jack. The second is to win in South and lead the jack of diamonds. The former works when East has a doubleton honour, the latter when West has a doubleton honour. Both are just under 24%, but only one of these is given in the Dictionary of Suit Combinations. My future title Complete Card Combinations remedies that.

My partner unluckily chose the latter line, getting below average. It is the right line at matchpoints as it only goes one off when East has D KQ9x. On this occasion, running the jack was the winning line, which makes the contract whether or not West covers.