Lucy in the Sky by Foxymoron

 There are four plausible explanations of the Beatles song Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds.

(1) It is about the drug LSD, as the capital letters spell out.

(2) it is a lyrical response to Julian's drawing, coloured by the writings of Lewis Carroll; 

(3) it is about a female saviour who turned out to be Yoko Ono; and 

(4) it is about Lennon's mother,

I don't have the qualifications to discuss that, but there were signs that it was the first of the above on the auction to Six Diamonds on the following board which gained a couple of new members a top:

Everything about the auction was Lucy-like. The jump shift with a broken suit, only 12 points, and a singleton in partner's suit, was wrong. East should just rebid 3D as the auction is already game-forcing, so there is no need to jump. West's 4NT was simple Blackwood, and now 5H just showed 2 aces. Looking for Grand Slam on the West hand was too ambitious, and I don't know what 5NT asked, probably for kings. It probably should be pick a slam,  and East wisely signed off in 6D, although 6H also makes. There was no defence to this. Indeed a club lead was needed to save the overtrick, and that was all the matchpoints for EW.

Picture yourself in a boat on a river

With tangerine trees and marmalade skies

Somebody calls you, you answer quite slowly

A girl with kaleidoscope eyes

Last time i was in the sky for any distance was a trip to Pula and I saw the 2014 film Lucy, primarily concerned with the "10% of the brain myth", but with great visual effects and a good performance by Scarlet Johansson. The Lucy alludes vaguely to Lennon's Lucy, and I was reminded of her by another surreal auction today, also to Six Diamonds.

I think West is far too strong for 1NT and I would have opened 1C. The Kaplan-Rubens hand evaluation is 19.6 and I would prefer 2NT to 1NT.  East is barely worth a slam try, and his actual bid was alerted as Minorwood. I presume that they have an agreement that 4 of a minor is always asking in that minor, but this is a strange agreement,. West's 5D seemed to be off the minor scale, and East scratched his head and bid 6D. With diamonds 2-2 there was no defence, and diamonds produced another top.

There is not much point playing a convention which you do not understand. Next time, the result might not be so lucky. As Pope wrote:

A little learning is a dangerous thing;

Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring;

There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain;

And drinking largely sobers us again.

Spectacled Duck by Foxymoron

 

The Latin for duck is anas, and this often features in crosswords where "an anas" is both a duck and a pineapple, and with a b before is another fruit, or nuts! The spectacled duck is quite rare, and, continuing our anatine theme from last week, I was reminded of it by the card combination. QJ2 opposite A9876. You lead the queen and the next person peers through her spectacles and ducks. What do you do on the second round?

This was the full hand. Steven Paull cashed the AH and exited with a spade. Kevin Robins won in hand, drew trumps and led the queen of clubs. Judith Hughes ducked and South produced a small card. What now? I would do as Kevin did and continue with the jack of clubs in an attempt to pin the doubleton ten. If North has Kx, as here, then her playing low runs the risk that South has T9x or T8x, when declarer will have no option but to play for Kx with North, and a trick will have been lost. The power of the closed hand will normally cause North to cover from Kx, but Judith had a good result when declarer misread the layout, even though her play was technically wrong! 

virtus ipsa pretium sui!

Golden Duck by Foxymoron

The term "duck", meaning zero, is perhaps best known from Test cricket, when you are dismissed for nought. The term is a shortening of the term "duck's egg", the latter being used long before Test cricket began. When referring to the Prince of Wales' (the future Edward VII) score of nought on 17 July 1866, a contemporary newspaper wrote that the Prince "retired to the royal pavilion on a 'duck's egg' "

A golden duck is said to be when you are dismissed for 0 on the first ball you face, and a platinum duck is when you are an opener dismissed on the first ball of an innings, Andy Clery had the misfortune to to score a "duck's egg" on the following deal, which is surprising as I would have expected others to also fail to duck when necessary, but only this table played in game.

I guess this might be called a golden duck in bridge - a failure to duck the first round of trumps, resulting in a score of 0%. In this case, ducking would have resulted in 100% on the board, so maybe that should be a platinum duck. Tony Moloney showed a touching faith in his partner's declarer play by inviting game opposite a weak Two Spades. By Andy's normal non-vulnerable standards he was maximum, and showed this with a bid of 3S, which Tony raised. North led the 9 of diamonds, which does look like it might be a singleton and Andy won in dummy, but now needs to keep control by ducking a round of trumps. Then there is no defence, as there is still a trump in dummy to deal with the third round of hearts. Even if South puts in a spade honour on the first round, which he should do from Hx, declarer must duck and not be lured by the overtricks. This should now be duck soup to all blog readers!

Kevin Robins, North, and Ivan Helmer, South, were grateful for the gift which helped them to a big score of almost 70%. After 8 boards they were running at 82%, and in line for a record score. A number of good players failed to duck the first round of trumps, but they were all in spade part scores. Well done to Bill Linton and "Janet136" who found the right play.

Merrimac Coup by Foxymoron

The Merrimac Coup, by which a defender sacrifices an honour to deny declarer an entry to dummy is named after the Merrimac. This was a steamship, built by the Swan & Hunter shipyard as SS Solveig in Wallsend, England, in November 1894. It was purchased by the US Navy in April 1898. Rear Admiral William T. Sampson ordered her to be sunk as a blockship at the entrance of Santiago Harbour, Cuba, in an attempt to trap the Spanish fleet in the harbour.

 

Usually the card sacrificed is a king, and it usually forces declarer to win the ace in dummy prematurely. Harvey Fox and Fred Pitel had a top here when the defence did not find the Merrimac:

Harvey, North, and Fred, South, had a good auction The North hand is very powerful, but only strong enough for a one-level opener, but when South responds 1S it is worth game. It is far too strong for 3D and 3S is also an underbid. I would bid 2H with my regular partner,  as we play that as artificial, showing either a reverse or hands with 3 or 4 spade support. With simple methods, I think 4C is  a good bid. Add the queen of spades to the South hand and slam would be good. On this hand South signed off in 4S. This is always making 12 tricks for a top, and indeed only the king of hearts lead, a Merrimac Coup, holds it to 12. Declarer needs a late entry to enjoy the diamonds and although this gives declarer 3 heart tricks it does hold it to 12. On the club lead, Fred could even make all thirteen tricks, drawing three rounds of trumps, cashing the ace of diamonds and ruffing a diamond, drawing the other trump, and enjoying all the diamonds. But making 12 was fine and an outright top. Richard and Debbie, EW, recovered from this blow to share first place, and consoled themselves that even finding the KH lead would have still been 0%. 

Minor Scale

 In music theory, the term minor scale refers to three scale patterns – the natural minor scale, the harmonic minor scale, and the melodic minor scale. Matchpoints is unfair to the minors, and it is natural to play in 3NT whenever all the suits are stopped, as it often makes an overtrick, with 5 of a minor needing to make seven to beat that. The other choice is between the "harmonic 5m" and the "melodic 6m" and one would definitely go for the latter if the choice is close. It is almost the case that when you bypass 3NT which you were sure was making, you should bid 6m. Such was the case on the following hand:

Michael and Web, our two US members, had a good start to the auction, 1D was Precision, 1H natural and 2C showed 5-4 in the minors either way, about 11-14. Now 2S was fourth suit and 2NT showed a spade stop. West thought that he was too good now for 3NT, although there is a lot to be said for it, and it is in fact the top spot, beating 5C comfortably. If I did not bid 3NT, I would choose 6C, but I don't think it is right to rule out grand here. At teams it is easy, you jump to 4C which is a slam try in clubs. Some play it as Minorwood, so be sure what your methods are here. I think I would bid 4D now on the East hand, and West will surely go to 6C then, but East chose 5C and West felt he had done enough. South should lead a top heart against that and get a very good score limiting declarer to 11 tricks, but when he did not, declarer was able to finesse the ten of spades for 12 tricks and a near average.

Ken Barnett was in 6C by East on a diamond lead, and misplayed it at trick one, winning in hand, drawing trumps and playing a spade to then ten, successfully as the cards lay. The right line was to ruff the opening lead in dummy, draw trumps with the king and ace, and then lead a spade towards the king. North is caught in Morton's Fork. If he rises with the ace, then there is no need for the spade finesse. If he ducks then the spade losers go away on the ace and king of diamonds.

Morton's Fork has an interesting origin. Under Henry VII, John Morton was made archbishop of Canterbury in 1486 and Lord Chancellor in 1487. He rationalised a tax of Henry's by reasoning that someone living modestly must be saving money, and therefore could afford the tax; whereas someone living extravagantly was obviously rich, and therefore could afford the tax as well.

The motto is not to play in 5 of a minor at matchpoints, except when it is right to play in 5 of a minor!

King of Clubs by Foxymoron

On Monday night I watched a Poirot episode which had what I thought was a catchy title, King of Clubs. Hercule visits a house where a murder suspect claims to have been playing bridge for the last hour, a perfect alibi. The cards are even laid out for a game, which was interrupted. He notices that the daughter's claim to have opened 1NT just before the body was discovered was unlikely as she had seven spades, and would have opened 3S. However, a card is missing and Hercule quickly establishes that it is the king of clubs. He notices that the pack is brand new and there is only one pack, with a nice box, and he quickly finds the missing card and solves the case. So where was the king of clubs, and how did Hercule know where to find it? Solution at the end, in case you want to try to work it out,

 

I thought the king of clubs was missing on this hand tonight when I led the jack of clubs, playing standard leads. Dummy played low, partner played the six, and declarer won with the queen and played the ace and another diamond. I won with the king and played a second club, and declarer won, but no king appeared. On the run of the diamonds, East discarded two spades and a heart, and now declarer emerged with ten tricks. Partner never made the king of clubs at all, but it was not on the floor as I suspected. There are situations where it is right to make declarer win the first trick in hand, for example if South had shown a club stop, and East had Kxx of clubs. But that does not apply here, and if my partner followed the beginner's proverb "Third hand plays high" we would have beaten the contract. We would have made four tricks more than we did, and scored about 95% more than we did. As Max Boyce would say, we were "lucky to get nil" for -180.

At least Steven Paull, the declarer who benefited, was far too nice to type in caps, "ONE HUNDRED AND EIGHTYYYYYY" ...

I nearly forgot; Hercule found the king of clubs in the box as it had never been taken out. The new pack was arranged AS ... KC as normal and therefore they had only just started playing bridge and could not have played for one hour with only 51 cards!

Cashout by Foxymoron

 The expression "Cash Out", sometimes as one word, has become increasingly popular in recent years as betting firms offer the chance to take your winnings before the event is over.  So, if you have backed Spurs to draw at Liverpool, and it is 1-1 in the 92nd minute, you can cash out at a significant profit. Your bet is then over and when Liverpool score in the last minute you still win. Of course, you pay an "insurance premium" for this facility, which varies depending on how much time is left.

Cashing out is not new and is common in financial trading. If you bought Tesla shares a year ago, when they were a tad less than $100 per share and sold them today, at over $800 dollars a share, you would be cashing out. With a profit of $700 per share. Of course, if you bought Debenhams a year ago at 22 pence, then there would not be much point cashing out now for one penny per share at a maximum. But that would still be cashing out. We needed to cash out here:

NS had a good auction, 1C was strong, and the vulnerability deterred me from making a weak jump overcall. North showed 0-7 with 1D and 1NT showed 17-19, so they already have more room than most pairs. North showed five spades with 2H and 2S completed (as North might have nothing) and now 2NT was ostensibly a balanced invite, happy to play there opposite a 2-3-4-4 17 count for example. South's 4S was obvious.

I had an awkward lead problem. Assuming my partner has about a ten count, with two or three spades, there is a good chance of her having the queen or ace of clubs, but when she does not, a club lead could be very costly. A diamond looks wild and a trump can pick up partner's queen when declarer might have Axx opposite KJTxx and a guess he will probably get wrong. In the end I went for the eight of hearts, which seemed safe, if rather passive.  

Vampyr faced a difficult decision. She won with the ace - playing the jack was an alternative - and South dropped a deceptive nine. Now Vampyr needed to cash the ace of clubs to hold declarer to 11 tricks. I think this is the right defence, as South could have four or five hearts, although the lead might have been from QT8. When East exited passively with a trump, declarer was able to discard the club from dummy, and even guessed the queen of diamonds correctly to make 12 tricks. I think that if I did not have the queen of diamonds I might have led that suit, so South was right. We did not do a huge amount wrong, but ended with a 0% board.  Cashing out is never easy, as Abba might have said.

Minorwood by Foxymoron

 The heading above appeared in a bridge crossword once with the clue: Enquiry from two clubs? (9). Its more profane meaning appeared in the Private Eye crossword once, and readers can establish that from the online Urban Dictionary.

Minorwood is normally a space-saving device which allows you to ask for key cards at a lower level, letting you explore the hand more fully. I think you need to define exactly when 4C/4D is Minorwood, and this will do for a starter:

a) When a natural and forcing 2C/2D is raised to 4C/4D without the opponents bidding

b) When 3NT is pulled to 4C/4D after that suit has been bid naturally

c) When a natural and forcing 3C/3D is raised to 4C/4D

d) When there is a jump preference to 4C/4D when that suit has been bid naturally

Prior to tonight, we did not have d) in our bag of clubs, but it would have been useful today:

The auction started well, until I tried to keep it simple with a ridiculous jump to 6C.  One problem was that 2D, which was a reverse on this hand, was artificial (although my partner seems to have forgotten to alert it). 2H asked and 2NT showed a genuine reverse with a heart stop. Now, I think that 3C and 3D are non-forcing, as you have to do something with a 5-count with 3 clubs or 4 diamonds. I can bid 3H, fourth-suit, and then pull 3NT to 4C. I can also jump to 4C now. One of these should be Minorwood and the other one not, but we had not discussed any of this of course! In the end I just settled for 6C, which scored well below average, as 6NT has 12 top tricks, and makes 13 rather luckily because West gets squeezed in the pointed suits.

Nobody bid and made 7NT, of course, so self-kibitzing has not yet infiltrated the Woodberry Pairs game. How should the auction go? I think 4C immediately should be Minorwood. North bids 4NT which shows 2 key cards and the queen of clubs. Now 5D by South promises all the key-cards and asks for specific kings, and North shows the king of diamonds with 6D. South doesn't know yet about the red queens, but can now make a grand-slam try with 6H, prepared to play 6NT or 7C, and North has an easy 7C bid. It is a lot easier with hindsight, however, and I made a bit of a pig's ear of the hand. The origin of this expression, which derives from making a silk purse out of a sow's ear, goes back a long way:

The English clergyman Stephen Gosson published the romantic story Ephemerides in 1579 and in it referred to people who were engaged in a hopeless task: "Seekinge too make a silke purse of a Sowes eare."

Boxcars by Foxymoron

 In many dice games, but especially craps, rolling two sixes, "boxcars," is an automatic loss. Instant bad luck. I don’t know why double six is related to covered railroad cars, perhaps a fully-loaded boxcar on a train track is somehow equivalent to a six on a die which is as fully loaded as a side gets.

One meaning for "boxcars" is as an adjective: "Long, high, as in 'long odds,' 'high odds.' (Mainly racetrack use; from the high numbers frequently seen on the sides of railroad freight cars.)" Another meaning for "boxcars" as a plural noun: "In craps, a throw of double-6 . . . the highest number in craps, a 12." The chance of a 6-6-1-0 hand in bridge, "boxcars with an engine", is a paltry 0.00072, so the dealing god smiled on me today and did give me a hand of long odds. We would have had a top for bidding and making Six Hearts on the following hand, 83% for bidding and making Six Diamonds and we should have had a bottom for our actual auction to 6NT. Meanwhile, 6S doubled would be a good sacrifice for NS, costing only 800. 

We might have bid better. I should have opened 1H, rather than 2C. If North had overcalled 4S, I would have been poorly placed, and would have been forced to guess the final contract. Partner’s Redouble was undiscussed. I think Redouble should be 0-4 and Pass 5+, with bids still being positives, showing a good five-card suit with two honours, hut we had no agreement. I had a chance to bid my suits with 3H and 4D, and partner’s jump to 6NT was completely barking.

"It's just six of one and half a dozen of the other.", is a line from The Pirate by Frederick Marryat (1836) "Were I to allot each their shares of illiberality, I should say, there are six of the one and half-a-dozen of the other;", a line from "Romance and Reality" by Letitia Elizabeth Landon (1831). It would have been six of one and half a dozen of the other if partner had chosen the normal 6D over 4D, as I would have corrected to 6H, and secured a top without risk. Instead my partner "diced with death" with the ridiculous bid of 6NT. Poor South just had time to lead a spade, when East could claim. So “All’s Well that Ends Well” as the bard, and no doubt the second person to get the covid vaccine, William Shakespeare of Warwick, would also have said.