Leading Question by Foxymoron

A leading question is more frequently met in court, and we have heard "Objection" and "Overruled" in many a televised court case. I remember when I was buying my house asking if there was any leading in the roof. I thought that was a leading question but the solicitor did not. "Leading", like "sewer" and "wound" and many others, is a heteronym.

How do you play a double of 3NT? Well the first requirement is that you don't think they are going to make it. If the cards lie badly for declarer, then others may be there and doubling for one off, particularly when they are vulnerable, can be lucrative. 

A common way to play a double of 3NT is to ask for the lead of the first suit bid by dummy. But this is not a command, and you need to consider the whole hand. The above was an interesting example. Anne Catchpole and Keith Bush (East) bid Pass-1C-1D-1S-2D-2NT-3NT. As both 2D and 2NT were non-forcing I now doubled this as North, quite happy with a diamond lead. South led the six of diamonds and now declarer can make by rising and playing a spade. But he ducked and I won as North and continued diamonds and declarer ducked again in dummy. I needed to switch to a heart at both trick two and three, but this could have been wrong if declarer had KTx. Continuing diamonds would work when partner had the ace of hearts, king of spades or a club trick. Declarer won the third diamond and played a fourth and there was no defence. I won and played a heart, but that just cost the ovetrick and was +950 for East-West, which all Welsh people know was the split of Wales into three parts after the death of Hywel Dda in 950. It was not a "dda" score for North-South,.

The question is whether South should have led a heart. I thought so, as you know declarer will make five or six clubs and he has a heart stop. If he has AQ of hearts he may well be making anyway. But I cannot really fault the diamond lead.

And the answer to "Threat perhaps perceived by Alice (6,3)" was MAD HATTER. The anagram indicator is in the solution and it is also "and lit"."

Threats by Foxymoron

All squeezes in bridge require threats. Either two threats as in the simple squeeze which is usually positional, or three threats as in the double squeeze where both opponents are squeezed in turn.  Which reminds me of one of my favourite crossword clues: Threat perhaps perceived by Alice? (3, 6). But I digress. A hand at the Woodberry this week was particularly interesting as the right line of play was not clear and one wanted to combine a simple finesse with a potential squeeze.

John Bernard was the only declarer to bid and make 6S. It is quite difficult to reach and not so clear that you want to be there. Making 12 tricks in spades would have been well above average. South should call a spade a spade as he is not quite good enough for 2C. North should bid 3S with eight losers, and now South will surely bid 6S.  The idiom "calling a spade a spade" originates in the classical Greek of Plutarch's Apophthegmata Laconica, and was introduced into the English language in 1542 in Nicolas Udall 's translation of the Apophthegmes, where Erasmus had seemingly replaced Plutarch's images of "trough" and "fig" with the more familiar "spade". "Not many people know that!" Michael Caine might have said. And I have gone off topic again.

In 6S if West leads a club it is easy as now declarer has three club tricks. Say that he leads a heart. South will win, cash the ace and king of diamonds, discarding a club and ruff a diamond to find they do not break, West being forced to part with a club. Now it is normal to take the spade finesse and West wins and returns a spade. It looks right now to take a discard on the king of hearts, but that would be fatal; it is needed as the squeeze card. The winning line is to ruff a heart, draw the trump, cross to the king of clubs and only now cash the king of hearts, squeezing East in the minors. West has already been forced to part with a club and now East has to do the same.

Of course this did not happen and the defence went wrong quite quickly with East pitching a diamond at some point.

Ruff Justice by Foxymoron

When the opponents reach game and you have AKxx in their trump suit you might be reluctant to double as it could help them in the play, but usually the bad break cannot be managed, and if they make they are probably getting a top anyway. Such was the situation with a hand in the Children in Need SIMs this week, where declarer needed to find an unusual line to make the contract.

After two passes, East opened 1H and South bid 2NT, unusual, showing the minors. West competed with 3H and East pressed on to game. As North I did not think 4H making would be a good score for NS, so I doubled and partner led a normal diamond to the jack, king and ace. Declarer set about his task well, ruffing a diamond and ruffing a club, and now tried to ruff another diamond in dummy. This would have worked well if the diamonds were 5-3, but on the actual layout North was able to overruff, and play ace and another heart, leaving declarer a trick short.

The winning line was a surprising one. After ruffing one diamond and one club, East needs to cash the ace, king and ten of spades. South cannot ruff, and now declarer can ruff a spade in dummy for his tenth trick. Declarer loses two trumps and a diamond. It is surprising that declarer needs to ruff the fourth spade, rather than the third diamond, but the evidence was all there. The lack of a trump lead and the double suggested that trumps are 4-0. Also East needs to drop the doubleton QJ of spades so needs South to be 2-0-6-5. 

It was a bit harsh that the alternative line of ruffing the diamond failed, but it did have an element of rough justice, an expression which goes back to Roman times.

And the play problem in the slam that your scribe had with Colin Elliott from last week was tough. You need to play for QJ doubleton in hearts and spades and the jack of clubs onside. But you need more. Win the spade lead in South, and play the queen of clubs. If East wins and returns a spade you win and now cash the hearts and the ace of diamonds. West who began with 987x QJ QTx Jxxx gets squeezed. East (R. Merchant) chastised West for not finding the diamond lead, but he relented when the board was taken away.

Heart of Gold by Foxymoron

This week was the funeral of Colin Elks, known to all his bridge friends by his mother's maiden name, Colin Elliott. He had a debilitating illness all his life, but he coped with it stoically even when it deteriorated over the last few years. I played with him once a month for around 20 years and he was a fine player and he enjoyed tinkering with his beloved Precision. He played it with several partners: Nigel Freake, Ken Barnett, Martin Baker and, for a while when he was in this country, the noted pianist Alex Panizza. He was also a frequent partner of Chantal Girardin.

He had a love of music, and knew all the Abba songs, and was a great fan of Nottingham Forest, in particular the golden era under Brian Clough. And it was notable to learn at his funeral how helpful he was to his friends and family, often driving them through London and beyond. He had a spell as a mini-cab driver and certainly "had the knowledge". When he could no longer drive, that was a major blow, and also led to him giving up bridge. He loved the quips and camaraderie at the table, and did not take to online bridge at all. He also "had the knowledge" of our bidding system in bridge, and one of our luckiest, and I suppose unluckiest, auctions was on the following hand, many years ago, after he had introduced the "two-way heart" to the Precision system.

I was out to lunch in the auction. 1C was strong and 1D was 0-7. Now 1H was 2-way showing hearts or 20+ and 1S was a relay. 1NT was 20+ and 2C asked. We played steps after that at the time, as my old system notes showed, so 2NT was 26-27. Colin's 6NT concluded the auction. So, how did I bring this home? Solution next week.

Whether or not you make it, the TD will arrive shortly later to replace your other board and tell you that you have the wrong board. So, you are getting 40% on the board you should have played as you spent far too long trying to make 6NT on a board that you were not scheduled to play.

Colin accepted this bit of bad luck (or was it my usual incompetence) in the same way as he accepted life, uncomplainingly. 

As Kipling said: 

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same ...

The phrase "heart of gold" originated in the late 1500s. It was first seen in William Shakespeare’s play Henry V, in which Pistol describes his master as "a bawcock, and a heart of gold". Colin was certainly a bawcock.

Eastbourne by Foxymoron

It was good to see eight and a half tables at the Woodberry Weekend in Eastbourne, excellently organised by Shelley Shieff. Non-members are encouraged to join these events and the Allworth Salver, the main event of the weekend, was won by Tim Pelling and Naomi Cohen, occasional visitors to the Woodberry. We hope they will come more often.

The dealing program had created a number of interesting hands. The following was in the Alan Parker Teams, traditionally held on the Saturday afternoon. Alan always wanted to make at least one slam in a session, preferably a success when the opponents failed to cash the ace and king of a side-suit, and if it was doubled all the better!

This was quite a tricky slam, flat in our match, but not bid and made at any other table. We bid 2NT-3C-3S-6S. 2NT showed 20-22 and 3C was simple Stayman. Many have not discussed whether 4NT after 3S is Key Card Blackwood or quantitative and whether one is playing "3041" or "1430". I prefer the latter, as it is the score for making 6H or 6S, vulnerable! There are pitfalls here. Say West leads a diamond and you start on trumps as one does. You lead the queen of spades and West ducks. Now if you continue with another spade you cannot make it. West ducks again and there is no way to untangle 12 tricks. Another unsuccessful line, after a round of spades, is to play three rounds of hearts, ruffing in South. Again you cannot make it. West ducks the next round of spades, wins the third round, and exits with a diamond, and you cannot draw the trump and enjoy four clubs. And equally frustrating is if you try to ruff a heart immediately you fail, provided West ducks two rounds of spades.

The winning line on the diamond lead is to cash the other top diamond and now ruff a diamond, cross to the king of hearts and ruff another diamond. Now you play on trumps and are home and dry. This seems to be a military expression from the 19th century when you finished an exercise conducted in wet weather.

The teams was won by Elsa Nelson, Roy Cooper, Nigel Freake and Chantal Girardin, pictured below. The first two were top of the X-imps as well. Well done!"

Saturday night was a quiz, well run by Stefanie Rohan and Andrew Clery with an excellent picture round from Shelley Shieff. It was won by Anne Catchpole, Peter Rogers, Nigel Freake and Chantal Girardin.

The name Eastbourne is a corruption of East Burn, with Burn being a stream. Appropriately the winners of the Sunday morning pairs were Stefanie Rohan and David Burn. 

And I nearly forgot. The weakest possible bridge hand is a "41", 432 432 432 432 with a 5 in any of the suits, totalling 41 pips. It cannot win a trick in no-trumps, whereas all "42"s can! And 41 is the atomic number of Niobium, which was originally Columbium.

Yarborough by Foxymoron

The term Yarborough originated from whist. The Earl of Yarborough, believed to be in 1874, offered the odds of 1,000 to 1 against someone being dealt a hand in whist with no card above a nine. The true odds are 1828 to 1, so he was taking a rake of over 40%, not bad if you can afford the odd hit.

The North Lincolnshire village of Yarborough has a long history, with evidence of human occupation dating back to the Iron Age. The village was mentioned in the Domesday Book of 1086 as "Earburg", meaning "eagle fortification". The crest above is spectacular.

There was a difficult quiz question once. What links the chemical element Niobium with the weakest possible bridge hand? I don't expect this to detain you too long. Answer next blog. Post "solved" in the comments. 

I picked up a Yarborough last week at the Woodberry and was surprised to become declarer.

East opened a very sound 2S and South doubled. North bid 2NT, the Lebensohl convention, showing any weak hand and asking his partner to bid 3C. South, however, had too good a hand for a sign-off, and tried 3NT but North corrected to 4H.

East had a tricky lead. The king of spades was sure to be on his left, so he tried the ace of spades, on which partner played the two. This should be suit-preference for clubs, but could also, of course, be a singleton. Given that East has only three diamonds, I think the club switch is now percentage, as declarer will be able to draw trumps and may discard a club on a long diamond if they are 3-3.

A difficult decision, but Harvey Fox, East, played a second spade and a club went away on a top diamond. Two of the four declarers in 4H made, and two went off, so the defence is not obvious.

Second Lady by Foxymoron

The crossword clue "First Lady" refers to an obvious girl's name. And I am sure that "Riddle is backed by First Lady (5)" will not detain you long. First Lady is often used, particularly in the US, for the wife of the president or leader and one hopes that it will be "First Gentleman" for the first time later this year. Second Lady and Second Gentleman seem to be almost exclusively US terms for the spouse of the vice-president.

Woodberry members Eve Brenner and Martin Baker had an excellent result in the London Mixed Pairs yesterday and Eve nearly lived up to her name as the "first lady" but had to be content with second place. As they say in backgammon, "Second place is no disgrace".

The top placings in a strong field:

One of the most interesting boards was the following. NS bid a thin 6D against you on the lead of the jack of hearts. How should you play?

The declarer won the jack of hearts lead and tried to set up the spades, but this was about as easy as capturing Cerberus, requiring trumps 2-2 and the KQx of spades to come down. Also you need to finesse the diamond to get a third entry to dummy and this fails. The right line is to win the heart, cash the king of diamonds, play the other top heart and ruff a heart, and now cross to the ace of clubs to draw trumps. I don't know whether declarer was trying for the overtrick, but you only need trumps 2-2 and making the contract would have been a top. You have to take such gifts if you are going to do well in an event.

By George by Foxymoron

1790 was a momentous year in US politics as it featured the first State of the Union address by George Washington in January and they were busy passing the Patent Act and the Copyright Act by the end of that year. The original hand-written speech is in the George Washington Presidential Library:

1790 is a rare score in bridge and I have never achieved or conceded it. It can only arise from a non-vulnerable 7NT doubled, making. The expression By George is what is known as a minced oath, an expression of surprise at an occurrence. It appeared in Henry V by Shakespeare and in other famous works, so predates George Washington by a couple of centuries..

Harvey Fox had the pleasure of notching up this unusual score of +1790 and the fact that it was on a squeeze was icing on the cake:

Harvey and Ed Sanders bid, uncontested until the double, 1D  - 2S - 3D  - 4D - 4NT - 5H - 5NT - 6D - 7N - (X) - All Pass. 2S was strong and 4NT was key-card Blackwood for diamonds and East showed two key cards without the queen of diamonds. Seven Diamonds is a better contract as you can ruff out the queen of spades. North's double was "speculative" and reminds me of Reese's comment. "You were right not to double 7NT, ma'am, as you did not intend to lead your ace!" Here there was no ace to cash and North tried a club. Harvey rose with the ace and ran all the diamonds, retaining the queen of clubs in hand and squeezing North in the black suits.

If South has the king of clubs and the queen of spades, then North needs to lead a spade to break up the squeeze on his partner. The keen student of compound squeezes will have, by now, worked out the only defence if the queen and ten of spades are exchanged in the above diagram. Solution next week.

And I was surprised that "icing on the cake" as an idiom is relatively modern. The earliest known use is:
There are sins and there are sins, but the sins I speak of are the chocolate icing on the cake of life - The Sin of Pat Muldoon” - John McLiamin, 1957

+1100 has been "christened" a Henry after the seizure of the throne in that year by Henry I and I am told +1400 is known as an Owain after the rebellion of the Welsh martyr Owain Glyndwr in that year. +1660 for 6 of a major doubled is known as a Restoration after the return to the throne of Charles II in that year. I guess +1790 will henceforth have to be known as a Washington. All good clean fun.

The Uppercut by Foxymoron

It is interesting that "uppercut" gets two dictionary definitions. One is from boxing, as in the iconic uppercut that made Mike Tyson the youngest ever World Heavyweight Champion. The other is from bridge, and here there is a slight error.  One dictionary states:

Uppercut Bridge. a play of a higher trump than necessary knowing it can be overtrumped by an opponent but that if overtrumped, one or more trump winners in the hand of one's partner will be established.

I think that the first part could be curtailed to read "a play of a trump, knowing it can be overtrumped ..." as occurred on the following hand.

We missed the boat here. East opened 1NT (11-14) and South bid 2D, the popular multi-Landy showing a six-card major. I decided to invite with 2NT, rather than force to game with 3H. North passed and East bid 3C, forced. Now I bid 3H as West, invitational with six hearts, but my partner had seen me play them before and put down the dummy. Most reached 4H.

Missing the boat is sea-slang and seemingly first appeared in Florence Marryat, Captain's Norton's Diary, serialized in Belgravia (May 1870). It is now figuratively used for any missed opportunity.

In 3H, North led the jack of spades and I won, cashed one high heart, noting the queen from South, and then played three rounds of clubs. If they had broken 4-2, I could cash another heart and ruff the fourth club if necessary. They broke 3-3, but now North played the ace, king, and another diamond. South uppercut with the jack of hearts and promoted North's ten of hearts. Well defended by Martin Lerner and David Schiff.

Nobody found the most testing defence to 4H, which was for North to play three rounds of diamonds with South "uppercutting" with the jack of hearts. West can recover, however, from this body blow. [My partner points out that I am mixing metaphors here in that an uppercut is to the chin]. West can overruff, cross to the ace of spades and ruff a spade, and then play the ace and another heart. North wins with the ten but either has to concede a ruff and discard or open up the clubs.

Best defence then is for North to lead the queen of clubs, but declarer can and should succeed by playing for the club honours to be split, rising with the king before running the ten. Everyone made 4H, so either all the declarers found this line, or, more likely, the defence was not as testing.

Cover Story by Foxymoron

I liked a recent crossword clue which is simple but pleasant: Cover Story (5). I will leave you to post your solution in comments, and will only say if it is right or wrong. 

There was a story in the pub that Graham Horscroft needed to cover the second heart on the following hand. It is interesting to analyse if he should have done so:

The auction, I am told, was the same as at our table, 1C-1H-2C-3NT. Against Graham, North led the three of hearts, fourth best and South played the queen and returned the ten. Now Graham needed to cover to block the suit. Applying the rule of 11, South is expected to have three cards (11-8) higher than the three. The rule says that you deduct the number of cards you can see higher than the card led from 11. This tells you how many cards South has above it. So, South can have Q108, Q106, Q1082 or Q1062. If South has Q106, nothing can be done. If South has either of Q1082 or Q1062, then the defence only have four heart tricks and you have a chance if the diamonds are 3-3 or there is a minor-suit squeeze. But then it does not matter whether your cover or not. When South has Q108, as here, you have to cover, and the friendly minor suit lie allows you to make the contract. And South cannot pull the wool over your eyes by returning the eight, as the same principles apply and you must cover, playing for the unlikely QT8 with South.

The People’s Press, November 1835:
We are glad to find among the leading Vanites, at least one man, whose conscience will not permit him to ‘go the whole hog’ in pulling the wool over the people’s eyes

Stefanie Rohan did not get a heart lead, and naturally enough and correctly played for 3-3 diamonds. When they did not break, she only had eight tricks. To play for the unlikely blockage in hearts was not a viable option.

One over the Eight by Foxymoron

 

The earliest instance of the above phrase, meaning having too much to drink, I can find is the following, in a Surrey weekly on Friday 15th August 1919:

“ONE OVER THE EIGHT.”—At the Reigate Bench, on Monday, Frederick Powell, of Providence-terrace, London-road, Reigate, was charged with being drunk and disorderly on Saturday night.—P.C. Kimber proved the case.—Prisoner told the Court that he met an old uncle and had one or two drinks. He added “I suppose I got one over the eight, and I suppose I became a little quarrelsome.”—Fined 5s.

It appears to derive from military slang. One over the eight is nine of course. Which reminds me "why is six wary of seven?" Because seven ate nine, of course. But back to bridge. The nine capturing the eight was the theme of this hand from the EBU summer SIMs.

I opened Four Spades as dealer, North, and Roy Cooper, East, exercised prudence for the first time in his life and passed, so 4S became the final contract. They avoided the fate that befell Anne Catchpole and Ken Barnett who went to 5H over 4S and went for 1400.

Roy found the testing club lead and Harvey Fox, West, did well to play three rounds, giving North a dilemma. If East has three spades it does not matter what you do, but what if East only has two? Now it is right to ruff with the seven, and when East overruffs with the queen, you play for split honours and run the ten on the second round. When it is covered, the eight falls under the nine on the third round of the suit.  You will need the diamond finesse, of course, but the eight of spades is 3-2 on to be with the assumed three-card suit.

In last week's poser, the nine of spades also comes into the picture. In Four Spades, after two rounds of hearts, the right line is to lead a low spade from dummy, and if the queen of spades holds, as it did, then you play low to the ten, even if South shows out. North can win the king of spades and force dummy again, but you ruff with the ace of spades, discarding a losing club from hand. All you lose is two trumps and a heart. Other attempts such as prematurely releasing the ace of spades are fatal.

Euro Heartbreak by Foxymoron

I understand how England felt in the Euros. However, "Second place is no disgrace" is a backgammon saying that they should consider. That means, in backgammon, that saving the gammon but losing the game is often the right approach.

Wales would have settled for second place in the European Bridge Championship, but came 30th. That sounds ok, except that only 30 teams entered. Still your scribe did win a few matches. This was one instructive hand.

The bidding was illuminating, South was the dealer at game all. (2H)-Double-(4H)-4S-(All Pass). South led the king of hearts and North overtook to play a second heart. You ruff in dummy? What now?

I will let you "go figure" and give the solution next week. A few strong players I gave the hand to went off. 

The Eight of Clubs by Foxymoron

 

All the playing cards have some meaning. In cartomancy the eight of clubs represents a casual or open relationship, but in bridge it has little significance. It was, however, crucial on the following hand. 

I was disappointed not to be sitting East-West on this hand, as I might well have reached the top spot of Six Diamonds here. With a couple of regular partners we should have bid (Pass)-Pass-(Pass)-2C*-(Pass)-2D*-(Pass)-2H*-(Pass)-2S*-(Pass)-2NT-(Pass)-3NT*-(Pass)-4D-(Pass)-5C-(Pass)-6D-All Pass. 2C is strong, 2D a relay, 2H is hearts or balanced, 2S a relay, 2NT is 20-22 and 3NT is Baron, forcing for one round. Then 4D is natural and 5C is a cue and a slam try. With good controls, West would accept. Declarer can ruff two hearts in hand and only needs trumps 3-2.

No pair found diamonds, and the number of tricks made in no-trumps varied. The right line in 6NT is to try to find someone with Ax of clubs, and then to run the diamonds hoping either for the jack of spades to drop or to squeeze a defender holding the jack of spades and five hearts. But it is a poor contract, and cannot make as the cards lie.

4NT was a popular contract, and, indeed, has ten top tricks. But that was below average and you needed to make 11 for a good score. On a passive diamond lead, say that you guess to play a club to the queen at trick two. It loses and a club comes back which you win. Now the line for 11 tricks is to cash the two top spades, two top hearts, and all the diamonds ending in East. South has to keep Jxxx in spades and therefore has to bare the jack of clubs. Now you can throw him in by exiting with the eight of clubs. But that is very much double-dummy, but is one of the reasons 5NT is making. The other is that you can duck a heart, and then play a club to the king, North must duck this, but now you can cash all the pointed-suit winners, and this squeezes North who has to bare the ace of clubs. If you read it, you can duck a club and make eleven that way. Again completely double dummy.

There is a free podcast from the author at Games and Gambling with Paul Lamford - YouTube

An Expert by Foxymoron

I think there are more quotations about experts than any other category of person. One of my favourites is  "An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made, in a narrow field." by the Nobel Prize Winner Niels Bohr. A less serious one is "An ex is a has-been and a spurt is a drip under pressure".

The one that sprung to mind after a hand at the Club Pairs recently was, I believe, from David Burn, "An expert is someone who knows what he should have done just after he did something else". 

We had a surreal auction: 1NT-(2H)-6C-(Pass)-7C-All Pass. I am not sure why my partner thought we could make grand ("three aces partner"), and indeed, with hindsight, passing 6C or even bidding 6NT would have won the event. A diamond lead would have given me no chance, but South naturally led his partner's suit. I won, discarding a diamond, correctly ruffed a heart, crossed in clubs, and fatally ruffed a heart to isolate the menace. I could not now make the contract, but if I had planned better, I would have just run all the clubs except one, and then cashed the king and queen of spades. Now, and only now, should I cross to the ace of spades, and this catches North in a trump squeeze in the following ending.

If North pitches a diamond, declarer cashes the ace of diamonds and returns to East with a heart ruff. If North pitches a heart, then declarer ruffs a heart and returns to the ace of diamonds to enjoy the long heart. 

Ruffing the heart prematurely destroys the fragile end position, as the menaces are over dummy which gets squeezed first.

Bridge with imagination

 Although I am not a member anymore this hand was played against two Woodberry members at the Young Chelsea Mixed Pairs so I think it qualifies for the blog.

"Director!" I hear the opponents call at the next table.  The score on this board cannot possibly be correct.  Probably one of ours I say.  Sure enough the director comes over to me and I confirm that West did indeed make 3NT + 1 on hand 18

As I said to the pair who called the director you clearly don't have enough imagination

So for fun as an exercise to the reader how did this result happen (hint there is one card in the South hand that gave the defence a problem)?

Bonus question why did 3NT+1 score below average for EW?

I will reveal all in a few days :)

The Closed Hand by Foxymoron

The above expression is given in the dictionary as the "declarer hand in bridge", but I was surprised that two other meanings of which I was aware were not given. One is the acknowledgement of defeat (or the greeting at the start) in a two-player match such as snooker by the touching of a closed hand. The other, with a black closed hand, is the symbol of the #BlackLivesMatter movement.

It is the first meaning that is the theme of this week's blog, which features an interesting hand from the SIMs at the Woodberry on Tuesday.

Three pairs reached the pushy slam. One was in 6H by East going off, one was in 6H by West making and finally one was in 6S by East going off. There is nothing to choose between the contracts you might think as all of them require guessing the spades. Let us say that you are playing 6H by East on the lead of the eight of clubs. You win and draw three rounds of trumps ending in West.

Now you lead the queen of spades from dummy and North covers perforce while you win with the ace. Now the right line is to run the nine. Suitplay, the omniscient computer program, tells me this is wrong and you should cash the jack. It is an excellent piece of software by the way. It is freeware and can be downloaded at SuitPlay (jeroenwarmerdam.pythonanywhere.com)

However, it has to make some assumptions about what the defenders do and do not know, and this is where the "closed hand" comes in to the picture. If a defender can see the eight and the nine, he or she should duck with Kx and cover with KT doubleton when the queen is led. If the defender cannot see the eight and the nine, he or she should cover with Kx. So, here, if you are playing it from the East hand, you should play North to have Kx (or singleton king) and run the nine on the second round. If you are playing a slam from the West hand, then you should play for North to have covered because he has KT doubleton, and play as Suitplay does and cash the jack.

There was not much difference playing in Six Spades, again by East on a club lead. Declarer crossed to the ace of hearts and led the queen of spades but David Herbert subsequently went off. As Pope said:

A little knowledge is a dangerous thing

Drink deep or taste not the Pierian spring.

Oscar Wilde quipped:  ‘There are two ways of disliking poetry. One way is to dislike it, and the other is to read Pope.’

Mike Bull and John Bernard were the beneficiaries of 6S-1 and this helped them to a near top, and a fine win nationally with 66.18%. And why should North cover from Kx, which Suitplay regards as "not optimal"? Well, just consider for a moment how you would feel if South had T9x or T8x and you duck ...

As your scribe was not there, I relied on Graham Osborne's excellent booklet to write my blog. Another interesting hand which helped the winners to their national success was the following.

The key on this hand is not to bid slam, which might well fail, but to play it in no-trumps and Bull-Bernard, which sounds a bit like a dog, achieved this well. They had an uncontested auction which started 1H-1S-2C-2D. The last is fourth-suit forcing, best played as game-forcing. Now I prefer 2H as North, treating the hand as six hearts. South's 3NT ended the auction, and they had avoided playing in 5C, which should have scored zero, but would have actually scored 20%. 

Graham Osborne thought that slam was against the odds, but I thought that both 6H and 6NT were odds on, and so it proved when I plugged in the hand to Bridge Analyser.

That shows that all three slams are with the odds. While there are only 11 tricks if hearts are 3-2, there are excellent squeeze chances with the trump squeeze in 6H looking the best option. But as can be seen from the Woodberry and national results, you don't need to bid a slam to score well. You just need to play it in the higher-scoring no-trumps. 3NT+3 was worth 69% at the Woodberry, and even more nationally, so more than acceptable.

I recall Tiger Woods being interviewed by Sarah Stirk, the Sky commentator, after a solid start in the first round of the 2006 PGA Championship at Medinah. He was pleased with his score, and said to Sarah, "If you had offered me a 69 this morning, I would have accepted". She smiled.

Bid Boldly by Foxymoron

The heading is half of the title of a famous book by the late Rixi Markus, one of England's best ever players, who rivalled Helen Sobel as possibly the best woman player in the world. The book is still available on Amazon.

Andrew Conway did not have the luxury of a safety play on a hand this week as he was in a grand slam. Some optimistic bidding had reached a poor contract, but he seized his only chance to make.

West, Conway, started with 1H, playing four-card majors, and North, Lamford, made an aggressive weak jump overcall of 3D. East, Verran, might have bid 4C but chose 4D and West bid Key Card Blackwood, 4NT. East showed two key cards with 5H and now West bid 5NT asking for kings. East bid 6D, a modern treatment of this convention, which either showed the king of diamonds OR showed the other two kings outside the trump suit. Knowing that they held all the aces and kings, Andrew decided that this was enough for grand and bid 7H. 

Following traditional thinking, North led a trump to the ten and queen. Conway led another heart which went to the ace, and a third heart drew a disappointing seven from South. The diamond length suggested that South would have the longer hearts, but Andy looked deeper and rose with the king, dropping North's jack. There were two good reasons for this. Unless the queen of clubs dropped, West would have to ruff a club which he could not do if trumps were 4-2. In addition, if South had JT76 in hearts, he might have played the other honour on the first round - the principle of restricted choice. 

When hearts were 3-3 and the queen of clubs dropped doubleton, Andy secured an unsurprising top for his 2210.

If North had not bid, then EW would have played quietly in 6NT, so Lamford was hoisted on his own petard by his weak jump overcall. This phrase, which indicates an ironic reversal or poetic justice, seems to have first occurred in Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 4:

For 'tis the sport to have the enginer

Hoist with his own petard; and 't shall go hard

But I will delve one yard below their mines

Absolute Zero by Foxymoron

The very old gambling game Fan-Tan is thought to have originated in the fourth century in China. It is peculiar because it seems to be unaware of zero. The "house" removes small objects from a big pile until either 1, 2, 3 or 4 remain. Players bet on which of those it will be. Zero was invented in Mesopotamia around 3 BC, and the Mayans invented it independently around 4 AD. It seems the Chinese were not "aware" of it, or their game would have remainders of 0,1,2 and 3.

The game originally offered pay-outs of 3:1, but nowadays there is a commission on winning bets, often as high as 5%. If the house take is zero, then the game can be beaten, as 4 is slightly more likely to be the remainder. Just think of a random number between 4 and x inclusive. The remainder when 4 are removed at a time is slightly more likely to be 4.

My partner and I reached a slam last night at the Woodberry, where I think the chances of success were absolutely zero. Given that is -273.15°C, I guess you could say it was cold ...

We  bid, uncontested, 1C-1H-2H-2S-4H-4NT*-5S*-6H. It is the nine of clubs away from having some play, but with the actual cards there is no layout which gives it a chance. 2S in our auction was a game try, and 4H accepted. 5S showed two and the queen, and the damage had now been done.

I have some sympathy for my partner's actions as North, but slam always rates to be slightly against the odds even if the fit is better. A simulation on Bridge Analyser, giving partner a 14-count with 4 hearts, has the following matrix:

The above mini-chart shows the percentage for each number of tricks (on the top row) that North will make in hearts. So, slam will make 42% of the time. One needs it it to be 50% to be justified in bidding it.

Another useful bit of software is the Kaplan-Rubens hand evaluator, fairly accurate on balanced hands. That makes the North hand 16.75, and slam rates to be poor opposite a 14-count. For completeness, the South hand weighs in at 13.85, so fairly normal to accept the game-try of 2S. And fairly normal to make only 11 tricks.

The Grosvenor Gambit by Foxymoron

The American expert Philip Grosvenor met an untimely and unexplained death in Florida in 1968. He made a habit of deliberately letting contracts make only for his opponents to go off anyway as they could not believe he would defend this way. His aim was to annoy the opponents who would play badly on the next hand as a result. This was the original hand on which he earned his infamy, courtesy of The Bridge World in 1973.

West led the ace of clubs against Six Hearts and continued the suit. Now declarer played the top spades and ruffed the third spade in dummy with the jack. East discarded a diamond on this trick. Naturally enough declarer cashed the two top hearts and was dismayed and angry that East had the queen! An excellent Grosvenor which was always going to work.

I inadvertently tried a Grosvenor Gambit on a hand at the Woodberry this week.

East opened 1NT, 12-14, and West bid Stayman and then bid 2NT over East's response of 2H. This was invitational without four spades and East continued with 3NT. South led the five of diamonds to my king and East's ace. Nothing was lost by ducking and that would have been my choice, but East won.

Now declarer led a spade and finessed the queen and I ducked smoothly. 

"If it were done when 'tis done, then 'twere well it were done quickly". Any break in tempo would give the game away.

I did not know whether partner had both diamond honours but ducking could hardly cost. My aim was not to irritate the declarer, Martin Lerner, but to know more about the hand when I did win. I suppose it was a Grosvenor Gambit in that declarer now had nine tricks. But, as expected, declarer returned to hand, with the ace of clubs, to repeat the spade finesse. I now knew declarer had five club tricks. I still did not know if he had the jack or queen of diamonds, but my partner had to have one of them for his fourth best lead, so I played back a diamond and we cashed out for two off. Martin recovered from the dagger and went on to win the event and is still speaking to me. Well done to Martin Lerner and Fabien Dunlop on their excellent result.

The Gambler by Foxymoron

One of my and Stefanie's favourite songs is The Gambler by Kenny Rogers, and was our first choice for the annual Karaoke in Pula. I was reminded of a few lines of this song by a hand at the Woodberry this week.

He said, "Son, I've made a life

Out of readin' people's faces

Knowin' what the cards were

By the way they held their eyes

So if you don't mind my sayin'

I can see you're out of aces

For a taste of your whiskey

I'll give you some advice"

If I was South on this hand I would certainly have responded after the opening lead, "So if you don't mind my sayin', I can see you're out of aces".

At one table, West opened a gambling 3NT showing a solid minor with little outside. That would have been my choice too, despite the queen and king outside. as  you only have three major suit cards. Everyone passed and North led the ten of hearts, an interior sequence. This was wrong against a gambling 3NT, and the general advice is to lead an ace, or, if you don't have one, the highest card in your hand. Here I would lead the ace of hearts, after which the switch to the ace of spades is easy to find and the defence takes the first seven tricks. Instead declarer made all 13 when South pitched a club at some stage, but even 11 would have been a top.

Several Wests played in 4D, the defence to which is quite tough. Say North leads the ace of spades and his partner encourages. Now if North plays a second spade and South wins and plays the jack of spades, West has to discard the king of hearts to avoid the immediate trump promotion. Now South can play a fourth spade and a trump is promoted.

An alternative defence is to cash the ace of hearts before playing a second spade, but that would be fatal if West is void. Then South can play a third spade to promote a trump trick. 

Chalk and Cheese by Foxymoron

Some years ago there was a bridge match between the Naturalists and the Scientists. The former were not allowed to use any conventions while the latter could use any system they wanted. The latter triumphed by a small margin. I think that conventions are fine with a regular partner but one should avoid them with a pick-up partner or when acting as a host.

Trying to mix conventions with natural bidding does not really work. If a bid is used conventionally it cannot also be used naturally. The two methods are like chalk and cheese. Rubber bridge players stand by natural methods with penalty doubles in many situations that tournament players treat as takeout.

"Like chalk and cheese", meaning incompatible or dissimilar, predates bridge by a long time. It was first used, I believe, in 1390 by John Gower in his text Confessio Amantis:

Lo, how thei feignen chalk for chese,

For though thei speke and teche wel,

Thei don hemself therof no del:

For if the wolf come in the weie,

Her gostly Staf is thanne aweie

I adopted the natural approach when playing as a host this week at the club.

Playing a relatively simple system, I responded 3NT to South's opening bid of 1H, showing 13-14 balanced. I foolishly thought that the opponent would have to find a blind lead. Unfortunately for me East led a small diamond (I would have chosen a spade) and I only made nine tricks instead of the twelve I could have made on any other lead. I could have made ten but that would have involved looking through the back of the cards.

The winners, Ken Rolph and Stefanie Rohan, bid 1H-2C-2H-4H. Stefanie thought 2H probably showed six, Ken thought it showed only five and 2S would have shown reversing values. I would have chosen 3NT on my second turn as North but there is no arguing with success. With all the suits behaving, twelve tricks in hearts were relatively easy and this turned out to be a complete top, with almost everyone in 3NT!

Playing 2 over 1, one might bid 1H-2C-2S, which does not show extras. Now North might ask for shape with 2NT and South bids 3C, showing three. North's 4H completes the auction of the scientists. But that would be like chalk and cheese compared with the auctions of the rest of the Woodberry.