Chalk and Cheese by Foxymoron

Some years ago there was a bridge match between the Naturalists and the Scientists. The former were not allowed to use any conventions while the latter could use any system they wanted. The latter triumphed by a small margin. I think that conventions are fine with a regular partner but one should avoid them with a pick-up partner or when acting as a host.

Trying to mix conventions with natural bidding does not really work. If a bid is used conventionally it cannot also be used naturally. The two methods are like chalk and cheese. Rubber bridge players stand by natural methods with penalty doubles in many situations that tournament players treat as takeout.

"Like chalk and cheese", meaning incompatible or dissimilar, predates bridge by a long time. It was first used, I believe, in 1390 by John Gower in his text Confessio Amantis:

Lo, how thei feignen chalk for chese,

For though thei speke and teche wel,

Thei don hemself therof no del:

For if the wolf come in the weie,

Her gostly Staf is thanne aweie

I adopted the natural approach when playing as a host this week at the club.

Playing a relatively simple system, I responded 3NT to South's opening bid of 1H, showing 13-14 balanced. I foolishly thought that the opponent would have to find a blind lead. Unfortunately for me East led a small diamond (I would have chosen a spade) and I only made nine tricks instead of the twelve I could have made on any other lead. I could have made ten but that would have involved looking through the back of the cards.

The winners, Ken Rolph and Stefanie Rohan, bid 1H-2C-2H-4H. Stefanie thought 2H probably showed six, Ken thought it showed only five and 2S would have shown reversing values. I would have chosen 3NT on my second turn as North but there is no arguing with success. With all the suits behaving, twelve tricks in hearts were relatively easy and this turned out to be a complete top, with almost everyone in 3NT!

Playing 2 over 1, one might bid 1H-2C-2S, which does not show extras. Now North might ask for shape with 2NT and South bids 3C, showing three. North's 4H completes the auction of the scientists. But that would be like chalk and cheese compared with the auctions of the rest of the Woodberry.