Duck or Grouse by Foxymoron

I once attended a meeting of the London Collectors' Society, which concentrates on coins, notes and comics. One of the attendees had a collection of Duck or Grouse pub signs, some of which I suspect had been stolen. Reports of pubgoers hitting their head on a low beam have increased dramatically since the miscreant built up his collection of over a hundred different specimens.

The following hand was a missed opportunity for a successful duck, and the failure to find it could well have been because declarer had hit his or her head on a low beam. 

South opened a weak 2S and this came round to East who bid 2NT. Minimum but acceptable in view of the intermediates. West raised to 3NT and South led a spade round to East's queen, so this should not have been a problem. East led the jack of diamonds, covered by the queen and king ... But now declarer could no longer make it. The diamonds were blocked and attempts to endplay North or South do not work. If South's queen of diamonds was a singleton, nothing could be done, but as the cards lie, ducking works. South can establish the spades, but declarer makes two spades, five diamonds, the ace of hearts and can lead towards the king of clubs for his ninth trick. This requires the partner of the weak two opener to have the ace of clubs, a reasonable chance.

Going off in 3NT was worth precisely 0 matchpoints, a duck or "duck's egg", a term more commonly used in cricket, and apparently just from the shape of the 0.

The meaning of grouse, to complain, goes back to at least 1885 and is thought to be Army slang, possibly derived from the Old French groucier. North-South were not grousing as this board helped them to win on the night.